Death leaves a heartache no one can heal
by Luna-Cullen14
Summary: I felt so tiny, like I could break in half any minute. I wanted to go into my father's room, like I had when I was small, and cuddle next to him, telling him about my bad dream. But that was the problem, this wasn't a dream, this was reality. Edward Bella
1. Chapter 1 News

I know this is a sad begining, and hard topic,  
but please stick with it! It's going to be a story of Bella healing.  
3 thank you!

BELLA POV

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal. I remembered reading this somewhere, but right now it was just an errant thought running through my head without warning. I couldn't think of exactly where it had been, and didn't care. More tears squeezed out the sides of my eyes, and another dry, raking sob made it's way through my throat. Edward's arms were tight and reassuring around me, absorbing all the pulsing waves of pain that rolled off me, and the tears that poured out of me fell onto the shirt he was wearing, strong with his comforting smell. He rocked me side to side, his body as close as it could be, protecting mine. He didn't say anything, conveying his words through silence and touch, letting me cry my feelings out.  
This wasn't supposed to happen to people. Especially people who hadn't done anything wrong. You didn't see serial killers getting into terrible accidents, or lawyers who didn't give a damn about other people. Things like this always seemed to happen to people who didn't deserve it. I just never thought it would happen to my dad.  
It was a strange feeling, I hadn't had the time to really think about what had happened yet. I had only recieved the news from the somber police officer standing outside on the top step. The words he said sounded like water in my ears. Thick, enclosing, making my vision go blurry, and every tiny noise faded and slowed. Edward, who had been sitting at the kitchen table, heard the words before he said them, and was beside me as my arms began to search blindly. I clutched him, silent as the shock rolled over me, and then I started to cry. But it wasn't just crying, it was unearthly, the sound that came up from inside of me. Like something tearing, ripping, my heart maybe. I broke, and felt like all my limbs had disconnected. I relied on Edward to keep me standing, and he did his job well, supporting my weak body.  
"She's going into shock." The police officer said, but his words were distorted and far away. This couldn't be happening. He was lying. Edward nodded, and basically carried me to the living room couch. My sobs resembled screams now, and Edward was rubbing my back. I couldn't really see, my surroundings just a blur. Even Edward's face, usually crystal clear and heart stopping, was faint, and I didn't like that. I screamed louder, not being able to see him scared me more than I already was. Where was he? I couldn't feel him or see him. Then everything was black, and I heaved a sigh of relief.

EDWARD POV

I heard his thoughts before he spoke the words, and panicked.  
"How am I going to tell the poor girl? I can't believe this happened to Charlie of all people." He thought, and I rushed to her side before he could tell her, not caring if he remarked my unusual speed. What had happened, what was wrong with Charlie?  
"Bella. I have some bad news." He said, and her eyes were immediately wary. I encircled my arms around her from behind, and she grabbed my wrist nervously. I held her tight, prepared for any outcome.  
"Yes?" She asked the man, who was fiddling with his officers hat in his hands.  
"Your father was killed in a fishing accident this morning. The current dragged him under." The man said. I was shocked, that water was cold. I could feel Bella's heart stop, silent for what felt like hours. I curved my hand around her slender waist, holding her securely against me, not saying anything, and she broke. I literally almost felt the ripping of something deep inside of her, and it scared me. Her eyes were empty, and she grasped my shirt, clenching and unclenching it. Her mouth was open in a tiny O shape, and her face was soaked with tears in a matter of seconds. I felt pain inside of me as well, for the man who was practically my father-in-law, his pure soul and good heart that was now lost, it was devastating. But my pain for Bella was intense, incomparable. She looked so scared and hurt and lost, like she didn't know where she was. I hugged her closer and listened to the horrible, tearing sobs that came from her chest, and looked like they must hurt to utter.  
"She's going into shock." The officer said, standing awkwardly, looking troubled. I nodded, and left him there, wanting to make Bella comfortable. I lay her down on the couch. This was something big, bigger than she had ever had to deal with, and I knew we could handle it. It would take time, so so much time, but we could help her. Her sobs were more like screaming now. Horrific, heart wrenching screams I couldn't do anything about. She looked straight at me, her eyes wide and confused, and screamed louder. Her grip on me tightened, and she blacked out, sighing eerily. The house was ghostly silent, and I listened to her uneven and hitched breathing. I stroked her face, and pushed her wet hair out of her eyes.  
"Oh Bella." I whispered, hoping she could hear me. "It's going to be alright. I'll take care of you."

BELLA POV

It was an odd sort of dream, if you could call it that. More like a nightmare. Edward stood on a cliff, his features fuzzy once again. I was standing beside him, and then he pushed me.  
"I'll take care of you." He spoke as I fell, and I was confused, not particularily scared. Why was he saying that if he was pushing me off a cliff? I reached for him, losing sight of him as I fell, farther and farther away from him. I landed with a crash in the cold, green tinged water, and floated peacefully, letting the waves send me where they wanted. The water turned warm and uncomfortable, and I saw him. My father. Charlie. He was in the water as well, sitting at the bottom in a splayed out, awkward position. I swam eagerly towards him, his short hair waving like seaweed. But there was something wrong. His eyes, they had no colour, they were white. Bottomless pits. He couldn't see me with eyes like that. I tried to speak to him.  
"Daddy wake up, I'm here, look at me." I said, but the words bubbled out of my mouth, not making any noise. I screamed once again.

EDWARD POV

She trashed and fidgeted, different emotions flashing across her face. Confusion, peace, irritation, relief, and then pure and utter terror. I had called Carlisle, and he had quickly made his way over here and examined her. She was in shock, and he gave me some advice to help calm her down. Keep the lights dim, make sure you don't leave her, and when you do need to get something or do something out of that room, tell her exactly where you're going and why, even if it's only to the next room. Keep talking to her, don't give her time to dwell. Make sure she doesn't hyperventilate, and try tea to stop her shaking. Ask her if she feels like stepping outside, fresh air can calm nerves. This advice went round and round in my head, and I waited for her to awake.  
It happened with her talking.  
"Daddy wake up, I'm here, look at me." She said, her eyes still closed. Another piercing scream echoed across the room. Her eyes opened wide and she sat up, her finger nails digging into my granite skin.  
"Bella Sweetheart?" I said, speaking softly. She looked at me, her eyes lost once again, but didn't say anything. "It's alright." I told her. She looked at me once again, but remained silent. It scared me. "Bella, can you answer me?" I asked gently, not pushing her. She leaned into me, curling herself as close as she could, and I wrapped my arms around her. I suppose she sort of had answered me in a way, attaching herself to me. Silent tears were running down her face now, and I tucked her even closer, her arms wrapped around my waist and hugged me like a teddy bear, as tight as she could. I heard someone at the door, and knew by the instant stench that it was Jacob. I groaned, but Bella didn't take in his presence at all as he entered the room.  
"Bells..." He said softly. She didn't look up, she didn't speak, she only gripped me tighter than before, and let more tears leak out of her eyes.  
"She won't talk." I told him. "She's still in physical shock."  
"Even to you?" He asked. I nodded. I looked at the clock, it was 7pm, and hour since we had gotten the news. I figured I had better get her to bed soon. I read Jacob's mind just then, and answered his question.  
"You need to stay here?" I asked. He nodded.  
"My dad's in the hospital with two broken femurs, and the rest of the pack told me to leave for the night." He said. I nodded, understanding.  
"Bella?" I said tenderly, looking at her beautiful face, ravaged with pain. "Are you hungry?" I asked. She shook her head, curving into me. I nodded. "Okay, then let's get some rest." I said, and she let me pick her up.  
"I'm sorry Bella." Jacob's pained voice came from the couch. She only let out another sob, clenching my shirt.  
"I'm going to go get her in the shower and into bed." I told Jacob, and his face reddened. "You can sleep wherever, blankets are in that cupboard I think." I said, pointing at a small cupboard off to the side of the living room. He nodded, grateful, and I carried Bella upstairs. We arrived in her bedroom, and more tears came down her cheeks.  
"Bella sweetheart, let's get you into a nice warm shower." I said, and she nodded. I let her down, and she grabbed onto my hand, walking in a wobbly way to the bathroom. She needed help walking. She turned the water on and looked at me, brushing my cheek with her hand. I kissed her forehead, and left, sitting on the edge of her bed. I heard the water run, and her step in. I sighed happy that she was able to do that herself. I heard sobs, deep mourning tears she cried while in the water, the sounds of her pain pierced my chest. I quickly tidied up the room, making her bed and adding a couple extra blankets and pillows. She was out soon, dressed in her sweatpants and one of my shirts. I opened my arms, and she curled into them. She smelt of strawberries and freesia, and I breathed in deeply, kissing her hair. I lay her own in the bed and climbed in next to her, tucking the covers around us. She closed her eyes and pressed herself against me, falling into a much needed sleep.

BELLA POV

I felt like a small child as Edward carried me upstairs, my hands holding onto him for dear life. I felt so tiny, like I could break in half any minute. I wanted to go into my father's room, like I had when I was small, and cuddle next to him, telling him about my bad dream. But that was the problem, this wasn't a dream, this was reality. I hardly recogized Jacob's presence, and didn't really care at the moment. I felt bad for not talking to Edward when he told me things or asked me things, but my voice wouldn't come. He set me down in my room, and I almost fell over, grabbing his hand for security. He led me to the washroom, where he left me to shower. I turned on the hot water, letting it run over my shoulder blades and soothe the cold ache in my heart. I cried for my father, he hadn't deserved this, he had always done nothing but good, protecting the people of Forks. He was gentle and quiet, someone easy to get along with, and of all people, the river had chosen him. As I washed my hair, I realised that it had been the water that took him, and here I was, showering in gallons of it. I rinsed my hair and turned it off quickly, pulling a towel around myself and then an old shirt of Edward's I had stolen from his room. It smelt reassuring and comforting, and the sweatpants I pulled on felt routine, and normal. I walked out and down the hall into my room, and saw with relief that his features were no longer blurry an unfocused. I hurried into his arms, and let him pull us under the warm covers. My head pulsed from crying, and I closed my eyes, curling closer to Edward's strong body, and fell asleep.

RENEE POV

I got the phone call in the middle of my yoga class, and hurried out of the room, answering the call, because the call display said Forks Police Dept. I thought it might be Charlie, calling because of Bella. But no one could have prepared me for what came next.  
"Mrs. Dwyer?" The man on the other end of the phone said.  
"Yes, that's me." I said, nervous.  
"And you are the ex-wife of Charlie Swan? Mother of Isabella Swan?" He asked, and the butterflies erupted in the pit of my stomach.  
"Yes." I squeaked.  
"I'm very sorry to inform you that Chief Swan perished in a fishing accident this morning, the current dragged him under." He said solemnly. I gasped.  
"That can't be true." I said, not wanting to believe the man.  
"I'm very sorry Ma'am." He said sincerely. Tears rolled down my cheeks, and worry flooded my brain.  
"And Bella? Is she safe? Is she alright?" I asked frantically.  
"She is unharmed. We have sent an officer over to the house, and were recieved by a young Jacob Black. Isabella is with her boyfriend." He said.  
"Edward Cullen?" I asked, making sure.  
"Yes Ma'am. He's a very responsible kid, never had any trouble with him." The officer said.  
"Yes, I trust him. Could you inform Bella that I'll be over as soon as I can?" I asked, and the officer agreed, hanging up. 


	2. Chapter 2 Identify

*This chapter is still sad, but please stick with me*  
EVERYTHING BELONGS TO S.M 3

RENEE POV

This couldn't be happening. Charlie, dead? Even though I had left him, he was still one of my best friends in many ways, and we had a child together, he meant so much to me. I called Phil immediately.

"Renee?" He answered on the first ring. "Aren't you in yoga?"  
"Yes, but I just got a phone call from Forks." I said quietly.  
"Is Bella alright?" He asked concernedly.  
"Yes...well no. But Charlie is definetly not okay."  
"What happened?" He asked.  
"He passed away." I said, hiccoughing.  
"Oh my god, what do we do? We can't leave Bella there."  
"You know her, she'll refuse to leave." I said, knowing this was the truth.  
"Alright then...when do we leave?" He said, and I smiled slightly.  
"As soon as we can." I said. "I'll book a flight. Can you take time off work?"  
"I'll quit if I have to." he said firmly, hanging up. I realised I had many phone calls to deal with, and quickly dialed Edward's number, which he had given me he last time I saw him and Bella.

"Renee." he sighed with relief into the phone.  
"How is she?" I asked.  
"She's...well...not so great. She won't talk." He said, his voice pained.  
"I'm coming as soon as I can." I told the boy. "Are you okay with her?"  
"I'm fine. I don't think she's willing to let me go, her arms are like a vice when they want to be." He said.  
"Good, don't leave her." I said.  
"Never." he whispered. I thanked him, and hung up. I booked us a flight that left in three hours, and fled home to pack, making sure to call Phil. He met me at the house, and we threw clothing into bags frantically. All the while, silent tears rolled down my cheeks, and my chest burned. Phil was somber and efficient, moving around the house like wildfire. We left quickly, driving to the airport in silence.

EDWARD POV

She was in a deep sleep, tossing and turning in my arms. She hadn't even awoke when Renee had called. I stroked her hair and kissed her forehead, stopping her trashing as she wrapped herself around me. Jacob knocked, and entered.  
"I made some tea for her." He said, looking at us awkwardly.  
"Thank you Jacob." I said gratefully. We had put our differences aside, and all our efforts went to Bella. She had slept through the whole night, and almost halfway throught the day now, and I doubted she would wake up for the tea, but it was a nice gesture all the same. He left, and I shook her gently.  
"Bella, love?" I said softly. Her eyes opened wide. "There's some tea here for you." I said. She sat up weakly, and pulled the blankets around herself. I handed it to her, and she took a deep sip. "Are you hungry, sweetheart?" I asked, knowing she was. I had listened to her stomach grumbling all night. But despite this, she shook her head. I frowned. "Your mother called, she wants me to tell you she's coming as soon as she can." I said, and she nodded.

BELLA POV

I took a deep sip of the hot tea, and felt it burn down my throat. The pain of the heat erased the pain of what had happened for a split second.  
"Are you hungry sweetheart?" Edward asked gently, and I was eternally grateful that he was here to take care of me, I didn't know what I would do without him. My stomach grumbled, but the thought of food made me want to vomit, so I shook my head. He frowned, concerned. "Your mother called, she wants me to tell you she's coming as soon as she can." He said, putting a piece of my hair behind my ear. I nodded, not feeling excitement or anticipation for her arrival. I felt empty, like something had sucked everything out of me. Everything that helped me talk, express myself, and feel any other emotion but pain. This didn't seem real, like something that could happen in a movie, but never in real life, never to me. I wanted to wake up and find everything back to normal, like it had been before that police officer had arrived on my doorstep, before Charlie had left in the morning. The phone rag shrilly on my bedside table, and Edward picked it up.  
"Hello?" His velvet voice spoke into the receiver, his eyes dark. He looked concerned. "Yes." He said, nodding. "We'll be there." He said finally, hanging up. I took another sip of my tea, and Edward wrapped his arms around me, taking a deep breath. "Bella? I know you're not going to want to hear this." He said, and it felt like another weight fell on top of the one that was already there in the pit of my stomach. What could it be this time? "We need to go down to the river and identify some of...his belongings." He said, his voice painfully skipping over the name. Tears erupted out of my eyes once more, and I bit down on my lip so hard it bled. Once I realised what I had done, I tried to stop the blood flow immediately, by holding my lip with my shirt. I shook my head in apology as more noisy sobs echoed across the room. I frantically pushed Edward away, not wanting him to be overwhelmed.  
"Bella, shhh. It's okay, I'm fine." He said, and pulled me into him again. I held onto him for dear life, like I would fall into nothingness if I let go. Just then, Jacob entered, he looked a mess, like he had been secretly crying as well. I tried to calm myself down, and almost succeded, the sobs turning into silent tears, and my breathing hitched. Edward rocked us side to side.  
"What now?" Jacob asked Edward, re-entering the room and running his hand through his cropped hair.  
"They've asked us to go down to the river and identify some of his things." Edward said quietly. Jacob bowed his head. I felt bad, for not talking to Edward, for not being strong, and for some reason felt responsible for Jacob's pain. I needed to talk. I forced my voice to break through the confines of my lips.  
"Edward...I'm sorry. Jake...I'm sorry." I croaked, more tears falling. I imagined myself as Alice in Wonderland, drowning in a sea of tears she had cried. A tear rolled down Jacob's face, and it looked out of place.  
"Bella, sweetheart. It's not your fault. Why are you sorry?" Edward asked gently, rubbing my back.  
"I don't know." I hiccoughed.  
"Shhh Bella, you don't need to be sorry." He said, and I leaned farther into him. "We need to get ready to leave." He said, and I suddenly felt like a small child who didn't want to take her medecin. I didn't want to do it, I knew it would be horrible, and yet it was coming straight at me like a lion charging, there was no avoiding it. I moved to my dresser, unwillingly climbing out of Edward's arms, and held onto the edge of it for support. He was at my side in an instant, holding me so that I wouldn't fall. I pulled a drawer open, and pulled out a sweatshirt. Jacob left awkwardly to give me some privacy. Edward tried as well.  
"Edward, don't leave me please." I said, and he nodded. I know we had agreed on "waiting", but Edward had seen most of my body anyways, and I felt comfortable enough to keep him around while I changed. It's not like we were going to do anything, we hadn't even kissed since before...the news. I thought back to that time, it felt like I was watching someone else's life.

Edward sat across from me at the kitchen table, smiling crookedly.  
"I'm warning you, I'm a master at Scrabble!" I said playfully.  
"I'm not backing out." He said, and I opened up the game board. "I do have conditions though."  
"And what are those conditions, ?" I asked, smiling.  
"Well first, you need to sit a little closer than that." He said, and I walked around to his side of the table, sitting on his lap.  
"How's this?" I asked. He chuckled.  
"Perfect." He said, wrapping one arm around my waist like a seatbelt.  
"What's the second condition?" I asked, curious.  
"For every point I get, I get a kiss." He said, and I smirked.  
"Fine." I said, planting a quick one on his lips. "That was just for luck."  
"I didn't need any luck, but I think now I might." He said, kissing my neck.  
"Edward, I love you." I said, tousling his bronze hair even more.  
"I love you more." He said, and I scoffed, as he kissed my shoulder. I jumped as someone knocked on the door.  
"I'll get it, let's just hope it's not Mike." I said, smiling, and hopping off his lap, skipping in the direction of the door...

I grimaced, and pulled off the shirt I had been wearing of his, and searched through the drawers for a tank top. I found one, and pulled it on. I pulled the sweatshirt over top of it, and my eyes caught a glimpse of something shiny on top of the dresser. It was the camera my dad had bought me for my 18th birthday. I burst out in sobs again, and before Edward could ask why, I hurled the camera across the room, watching it smash against the wall. I fell into Edward once more, and cried into his chest. When did eyes run dry of tears? Did they have an endless supply of water? I prayed to god that they didn't. Edward wrapped his arms around me, and the thought that we hadn't kissed for almost 24 hours ran through my head. I grabbed the back of his neck and pushed his lips against mine. He met mine softly, moving gently and tenderly. I knew I shouldn't even feel like kissing at the moment, but it was instinctual, like he was absorbing everything that could hurt me. He pulled away, and I linked our hands, tears still running down my face. He pulled me out of my bedroom, and swung me up into his arms. He carried me, curled up against his chest, down to his Volvo, and I watched Jacob wave as he left in his Rabbit to the exact same spot we were headed to. I closed my eyes the whole way there, with Edward squeezing my hand reassuringly at regular intervals. We got to the river soon, and Edward helped me step out of the car, I couldn't stop my shaking. He wrapped his arms around me. I watched Jacob climb out of the car that was too small for him. We were at the river bed, except it didn't look like any peaceful, natural place anymore. There were police SUV's, and cars everywhere, yellow caution tape and officers speaking into walkie talkies. I immediately felt sick, and almost threw up right there. An officer approached us.  
"Miss Swan, ." He said, nodding. He looked in my direction and frowned as he saw the tears. "I'm very sorry, Isabella." He said, and I didn't care about the use of my longer name. The officer gestured for us to follow him, and Edward pulled me with him. We came to the bank of the river. It was a small overhang or cliff, and the river rushed below, white and fast, cold and deep. I shuddered, my breath catching. Edward rubbed my back.  
"Isabella, we need to know if these belonged to your father." Another officer said, gesturing to some items on a table. There was his blue, waterproof backpack, his prized fishing pole, and lastly, his battered ball cap, soaked with water. I choked as a sob made its way through my throat. I felt the soft, worn, wet fabric of the hat, and nodded.  
"They're his." I whispered, and knelt down, vomiting into a clump of bushes. Edward held my hair and rubbed my back, and then helped me up again, holding me securely against him.

JACOB POV

As soon as I got the news, I was immediately sick in the small washroom adjacent to my bedroom. Charlie had been like a second father to me. I had gone over to his house countless times when I was younger, while he babysat or we watched the game. This was impossible, inhumane, disgusting, terrible, devastating. And then she popped into my head. Bella. I knew Edward would probably be with her already, but I didn't care. I hopped into my Rabbit, silent tears running down my face, and drove over the speed limit to her house. I entered without knocking, figuring no one would care, and found her and Edward on the couch, her arms wrapped around him like she would die if she let go.  
"Bells..." I said quietly, taking in tear stained face and puffy eyes, the lost look in them.  
"She won't talk." Edward told me. "She's still in physical shock." I found it hard to believe that she wouldn't talk to her beloved bloodsucker.  
"Even to you?" I asked him, and he nodded. More tears rolled down her face, and she pushed herself closer to him, if that was even possible. I had a dilemma, I needed to stay somewhere, I couldn't go back to the house. I needed to stay with Bella.  
"You need to stay here?" He asked, not seeming bothered about it. I had forgotten about his...talents.  
"My dad's in the hospital with two broken femurs, and the rest of the pack told me to leave for the night." I said, the first part being true.  
"Bella?" He said softly, looking down at her. "Are you hungry?" He asked. She shook her head, and curled into him. I sat down on the other couch.  
"I'm sorry Bella." I said, and she let out another sob. I sighed.  
"I'm going to go get her in the shower and into bed. You can sleep wherever, blankets are in that cupboard I think." Edward said, and I was grateful that he knew what to do, and she would let him help her. Hold on...he was going to get her into the shower? My face turned red, and I cleared my throat. I watched him carry her upstairs, and shortly afterwards heard the water start. I sighed, resolving that I had better get some sleep as well, as hard as it may be. I grabbed some blankets, and lay down on the couch, my feet sticking off the end. I closed my eyes and fell into a fitful sleep.

The next morning, I woke up at around 9. Which was at the precise moment someone knocked on the door. I hopped up, and shuffled to the door, the ache in my chest dulled by sleep. I opened it, and saw one of Charlie's fellow officer's standing there, his hands clasped in front of him.  
"Hello, I'm just coming to see if everyone is...okay over here." He said. "Who are you? Where is Isabella?" He questioned.  
"My name is Jacob Black, sir. I'm her friend. She is still asleep. Her boyfriend, Edward Cullen is watching over her." I told him, and he nodded.  
"How is she doing?" He asked.  
"She's not taking it very well...but for the moment she's absorbed in sleep." I said, and he forced a smile.  
"I just wanted her to know that we all miss Charlie. He was an honorable man and chief." The man said, and I nodded, looking down. He patted me on the shoulder, and left, climbing back into his patrol car. I closed the door I decided that I would make Bella some nice hot, herbal tea to soothe her pain. I shuffled into the kitchen, and started to make it, fumbling a bit with the instructions. Finally, it was finished, and I brought it up the stairs to her bedroom. I knocked before entering, and found Bella, with her arms wrapped around him, and his around her. I felt a pang, but then shook it off.  
"I made some tea for her." I said, and Edward looked at me gratefully.  
"Thank you, Jacob." He said sincerely. I nodded, and left the room, hovering outside the door. I heard Edward wake her and tell her about the tea. I heard her sit up and assumed she was drinking it. I heard him ask her if she was hungry, and assumed she shook her head, because he didn't make any motion to get her some food. I frowned, she had to eat sometime, although I had to admit, the thought of eating made me feel even sicker. The phone rang, and I heard Edward talking to the person on the other line, and then tell Bella something I didn't catch. I heard Bella start to cry again, noisy sobs, and felt like I had been punched in the stomach. And then I heard it get louder and panicky.  
"Bella, shhh. It's okay, I'm fine." I heard Edward say, and was confused. Her crying was stifled, and I entered the room again, concerned.  
"What now?" I asked, running my ahnd through my hair.  
"They've asked us to go down to the river and identify some of his things." Edward said quietly. I bowed my head, trying not to cry.  
"Edward...I'm sorry. Jake...I'm sorry." Bella croaked, and I let one tear roll down my cheek, why was she sorry? I saw a little bit of blood on her lip, and realized why Edward had said he was fine. She had accidentally bit her lip, and tried to protect Edward. But I saw he could control himself.  
"Bella, sweetheart. It's not your fault. Why are you sorry?" He asked her.  
"I don't know." She said through more tears.  
"Shhh Bella, you don't need to be sorry." Edward soothed her, and she leaned into him. "We need to get ready to leave." He said. Bella moved reluctantly to her dresser, and pulled out a dark blue sweatshirt. I left awkwardly, trying to give her some privacy. I noticed that Edward didn't. Well, they had been together for a year and a half now...I assumed he had already seen her undressed. My face turned red, and I began to shake. I took deep breaths to calm myself, and went downstairs. I heard a huge crash, and more crying, but knew that she wasn't hurt. It sounded like something had broken against a wall, and assumed she had thrown something. A while later, Edward carried her downstairs, and we both left for the river, Bella in Edward's Volvo.

We arrived at the river very soon, and I saw all the police cars and yellow tape. It was almost overwhelming, but as I saw Bella climb out of Edward's car, shaking incontrolably, I felt worse for her, having to see the exact spot where Cahrlie had...died. I watched from a distance as an officer approached them, and led them to a table. Bella nodded, touched Charlie's hat, and then vomited violently into a bush. Edward held her hair back, and I watched her stand up, her eyes empty.  
That was all I could take. I ran, into the woods surrounding the river, I ran as fast as I could. As soon as I was far enough away, I transformed, feeling the beat of my four, furry paws hitting the soft forest floor, and picking up scents I couldn't have before. It was a kind of release, everything was so much more simple in my wolf form, and I ran until I didn't recognize the area. 


	3. Chapter 3 Try

**Hey guys! Thanks for waiting so long! Here's the next chapter! I know it's sad **** sorry**

EDWARD POV

I watched her vomit into the clump of bushes, and my heart broke. Why had these evil people made her come down here in her state? I was mad, livid even, and helped her stand up.

"Can we go now?" I growled at the officer. He looked at me, and nodded, a scared look in his eyes. I helped Bella back into the car, and she cried silently, wiping her tears on the big sweatshirt she had on. I reached over, and wiped them off with my finger, smiling gently.

"It's going to be okay, sweetheart." I said, squeezing her shoudlers. She nodded, leaning into me, and I drove us home. Renee would be here later today I thought, and I got Bella inside, sitting her down on the couch with a blanket and some hot chocolate. She drank the hot chocolate, and then pulled me down with her on the couch, curling up into a ball and falling fast asleep.

"I love you Edward. Thank you." She whispered.

"I love you more than you will ever know." I told her, stroking her face. I felt her forehead, and noticed she was warm. Too warm. I got up quickly, grabbing a washcloth from the bathroom and running it under cold water before zipping back into the living room and holding her close again. She was breathing deeply, and I held the cloth against her forehead, cooling it down. She sighed, and leaned into me, deep in sleep now. There was a knock on the door, and I knew Renee had arrived.

RENEE POV

We got off the plane, and my flow of tears had somewhat staunched. Phil squeezed my hand, and we hailed a taxi, telling it to take us straight home to Charlie's. He did, driving through the mossy green overhang that was Forks, and up to the familiar, white house that I hadn't seen in years. I saw Edward's shiny Volvo parked out front, and Bella's red pickup truck. We climbed out, payed the driver, and thanked him. I took a deep breath, and pulled Phil up to the front door. I knocked hesitantly. Edward opened it, smiling a forced smile, and I could see that Charlie's death had affected him too. He was just as good looking as I remembered him. His red-brown hair messy on top of his head, and his peculiar gold eyes shining with pain. He was muscular, and wore jeans and a t-shirt. Just by looking at him you could tell he was someone you could trust.

"Hello Renee, Phil." He said, and I stepped inside.

"Hello Edward." I said, giving him a light, friendly hug. He returned it. He shook Phil's hand firmly.

"Bella is asleep on the couch right now. We just got back from the river...we had to identify some of...his belongings." Edward said quietly, skipping over Charlie's name. I walked into the living room softly, and saw her, my daughter. She was wrapped up in a blanket, a half drunk mug of hot chocolate on the table in front of her. She was curled into a ball shape, her knees tucked against her chest, and her soft curls fell over her face. Her closed eyes were pink and puffy, and her face was stained with tears. In that moment, I was overcome with how small she looked, and I was thrown into memories.

I remembered how she used to adore Snow White, and how she used to ask me if everyone had a prince, and I told her they did. I remember how her favorite colour used to be yellow, and that she wore the same pair of shoes for two years without her feet growing. I remembered her hating having her hair in ponytails, and prefered when I let it stay in loose curls. I remember that she had always wanted a gold fish, and when we bought her one, she had named it Simba, and was devastated when it died a month later. I remember her talking to her father for hours on the phone, and I remembered feeling sad about moving to Phoenix. I remember her doing ballet, prancing around in a pink bodysuit in the living room, and then insisting on quitting after the second class. I remembered her school days, when she only had a couple of friends, and never any boyfriends, until now. I remembered the ribbons I used to put in her hair, the color depending on what matched her outfit. She was my Bella, and she was hurting.

"Oh Sweetheart." I said, sitting down beside her sleeping form and putting a hand on her forehead. She was hot, and noticed what a smart boy Edward was when I saw the cool cloth on the table. I smiled weakly at him. He was seated on the other couch, looking lost as he gazed at Bella. He ran a hand through his hair, and smiled faintly back. I picked up the cloth and dabbed her forehead gently. She sighed and I kept at it, keeping her forehead moist. Just then, she convulsed and I saw Edward flinch painfully. Her pain hurt him. She opened her eyes and sat up, breathing heavily and fast.

"Edward!" She said in a panicked voice. She sounded scared. He was at her side in an instant.

"I'm here." He said softly. She gripped his arm so tightly that her knuckles went white. Just then, she seemed to notice me. She looked up at me. Her eyes weren't the same. They weren't shiny anymore. They were empty and lost looking. Tears started to roll down my face once more. She closed her eyes again, looking away painfully.

"Don't cry." She croaked, more tears streaking her face. I looked over at Phil, who had sat down in the seat Edward had vacated. There were wet lines down his face as well. "Mom." Bella said quietly.

"I'm sorry." I said, stroking her face. She let go of Edward's arm to hug me tightly. She smelt like wet forest air, hot chocolate and tears. I held her tighter. I didn't say anything. She felt so fragile. She let go of me and lay back down on the couch, her hand grasped Edward's shirt at his flat stomach. She seemed in need of constant contact. She looked up at him, at Phil, and then at me. Her eyes closed, and her breathing was even again. Edward stroked her hair, not moving off his knees in front of her, and not making any move to release his shirt from her hand.

"My dad is a doctor. He says she's in shock." Edward said, not taking his eyes of her. To be honest, he seemed in shock himself. I nodded.

"What does she need?" I asked.

"Dim lights, constant contact, constant talking, tea, fresh air, we can't leave her." He said in a robotic voice, looking over at me, his eyes pained.

"Of course not." I agreed. There was just something about him. He didn't seem like a normal teenage boy. I would have never trusted a normal teenage boy to take care of my grieving daughter. But I could have taken a plane to Guatemala and back and trusted Edward to take care of her. Not that I was going anywhere.

BELLA POV

My mother's face was red and she looked so hurt. This was my fault. I let go of her, and lay back down on the couch. Edward was on his knees beside me. I knew he was, even though my eyes were blurry with tears, I could smell his wonderful comforting scent. I reached out to him, and grabbed the first thing I touched. His shirt. Soft, white and reassuring. I closed my eyes, and fell back into a painful sleep. The dreams were strange, they always had my dad in them. He was sitting in a tree. No, now he was making a pie. Now he was planting a garden. Now he had a sombrero on. Now he was swimming. He shivered because the water was cold. I wanted to shout out to him, to tell him to get out of the water. His sombrero fell off and floated down into what had now become the river. I tried to warn him. I tried to yell. He went under. I shivered, and got the sensation there was water in my ears again. I opened my eyes. It was dark. I looked around, taking in my surroundings. I was back in my room, Edward's cold arms surrounding me. I sighed, and turned towards him. He kissed my forehead, and looked into my eyes. We stayed like that for a while, not saying anything. His hands ran up and down my back, and I pulled myself closer to him, not feeling how cold he was.

"Edward?" I said, touching his face.

"Yes?" He said quietly.

"What if...he didn't drown? What if they made a mistake? What if he's sleeping in the forest right now?" I asked. Edward bit his lip, and stroked my hair.

"Bella. I would be able to hear his thoughts, and I would have gone to save him." He said.

"But...what if-"

"Honey. I know that would be wonderful right now. I wish that was what happened as well. But...he's not coming back." He said. I checked my bedside clock. It was three in the morning.

"Don't say that." I choked out.

"Bella I'm sorry..." Edward apologized.

"Don't." I said. I dissolved into tears again, sobbing. Edward rocked me gently. I looked up at him. His face was fuzzy again. I panicked.

"Edward where are you?" I shouted.

"I'm right here, shhh." He said. His voice sounded distant.

"I can't see. I can't see your face. Please stop."

"Bella I'm not doing anything! It's alright, I'm here." He said.

"Liar! You're face is fuzzy. Stop! I need to see your face." I shrieked. "Don't go away!"

"Never. Bella you're in my arms." He said. I sobbed until I fell asleep. I was cold. He wasn't here.

RENEE POV

I awoke sleepily to the sound of Bella's voice reverberating off the small walls of the house.

"Edward where are you?" She shouted, panicking. I was confused. He was up there with her. Sure enough, I heard his voice next. Not quite so loud.

"I'm right here, shhh." He said.

"I can't see. I can't see your face. Please stop." Bella yelled. I sat up, wondering if I should go to them.

"Bella I'm not doing anything! It's alright, I'm here." Edward said, sounding worried.

"Liar! You're face is fuzzy. Stop! I need to see your face." Bella half cried, half shrieked. "Don't go away!"

"Never. Bella you're in my arms." Edward said. Bella didn't say anything, she was now sobbing wholeheartedly. I looked over at Phil sleeping on the other couch, and got up, creeping noiselessly to Bella's room. I opened the door, and sure enough, there she was, in sweatpants and a sweatshirt, right in Edward's arms. I sighed, watching her sob uncontrollably. Edward looked over at me, and then back at Bella, stroking her hair. She found a way to worm herself closer to him, and then she was quiet, absorbed in sleep once more. I stood silently in the doorway.

"She said she couldn't see my face..." Edward whispered.

"I know."

"Is that...normal?" He asked, sounding worried.

"I think she was just half asleep." I said, reassuring him. He nodded, and I left the room, going back to the living room and falling back asleep.

JACOB POV

I creeped into Bella's house as the sun was rising. It was unbearably quiet. Charlie would have been rummaging in his fishing closet by this time. I poked my head around the wall in the living room, hearing human breathing. It was Renee. I hadn't seen her since I was three. She looked tired and devastated, even in sleep. The man on the other couch must be her husband. I sighed, and made my way upstairs. I opened Bella's door just a crack, and peered in. She was curled up against Edward, her back to me. He had his arms around her, and his eyes were closed. I knew he couldn't possibly sleep, but I couldn't blame him for trying to at a time like this. Trying to get away. I felt sort of bad for him that he couldn't. I went back downstairs, and jumped as I saw Renee seated at the table. I scratched my head.

"Hi." I said awkwardly. She smiled at me, but it wasn't a happy smile. Just a polite one. Or a "glad to see you" sort of smile. The kind that didn't take effort.

"Jacob?" She said simply, still looking at me.

"Yeah." I said, giving her an effortless smile.

"You've grown so much." She said, in typical adult fashion. I sat down at the table opposite her. I had forgotten what she looked like. The tender, loving look she had about her, the one she transferred to Bella. Her blue eyes that watered right now. I had forgotten I used to like her a lot.

"So people tell me." I said. She smiled again. She looked up, I wasn't sure if she was fully awake, she seemed kind of dreamy.

"Do you remember when I used to take you and Bella to the beach?" She said, not looking at me.

"Yeah I do. We made mud pies." I said.

"Yeah." She said. "You were both so little."

"Yeah." I said. This seemed to be the key word in the conversation. I heard the stairs creaking, and turned around. Bella was walking down them, dressed in sweatpants and a sweatshirt. She was looking straight ahead, and her arm was wrapped around Edward's waist so tightly it looked painful for him. But if it was, he didn't say anything about it. He sat her down in a chair at the table, and started making eggs in the kitchen.

"Edward, please no." She said quietly. He looked at her, said nothing, and continued on with what he was doing. I couldn't blame him, she had to eat. "Edward." Bella said again. Edward sighed.

"Bella. You have to eat." He said, beating them.

"I can't." She said. Edward continued making the eggs. They were sizzling in the pan now. He opened the fridge, and started grating cheese robotically. "Edward." She growled. "Stop."

"No. You have to at least try." He said, sprinkling the cheese over the cooking eggs. Bella rolled her eyes. For a second, she looked like her old self. She got up, and walked over to Edward. She touched his arm.

"Please stop." She said, looking up at him with puppy dog eyes.

"Bella, no." He said, pushing the eggs around in the pan. Renee and I just watched them interact. They always kept their life together so secret. But not lately...since Charlie. It was interesting.

"Please?" She said again, touching his stomach. He shivered. I looked away, shaking. I calmed myself down, and looked again. I wondered if this was how Bella got what she wanted. I wouldn't mind if she did that to me...I was guessing that's why Edward looked so tortured as her fingertips lingered on his shirt. He took a deep breath.

"No. There's no point now Bella. They're almost finished." He said.

"Just put them in the garbage." She said.

"Nope." He said. She touched his neck.

"I don't want them." She said quietly. He looked at her, and removed her hand from his chest, where it was now resting.

"I don't care. I'm making them anyway." He said, sliding them onto a plate. She looked at him through her eyelashes, like she had when she had asked me to tell her those stories so long ago on first beach. Except this time, she looked angry.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. I don't want those eggs." She said. He looked at her, shook his head, and led her to the table. She sat down, and he put the eggs in front of her. He sat down beside her.

"Try." He said. She looked at me, hoping for a different answer. I shrugged. She glared at me. She looked at Renee.

"Bella...please listen to Edward." She said. Bella looked down at the eggs, and took a bite. She took another bite. She sat back in her chair. She vomited across the table. I jumped up and got a cloth to help clean up while Edward led her back upstairs.

**Reviews? Thanks guys.**


	4. Chapter 4 Lullaby

Hey everyone, sorry this update took so long! I have end of year exams :/ BLEH. Anyways, here it is. It's considerably long! I'll be adding another chapter just after this, so don't worry! Thanks again!

**Xox **

She came down a while later with Edward. Her eyes were blank again. She walked into the living room, and Edward followed, having no choice, as her hand wouldn't let go of his. This was unbearable, to see them together. It made me want to die. But I couldn't leave, my best friend needed me. I sat down on the other couch. I watched Bella curl into Edward, and I watched him wrap his arms around her protectively, as though there were monsters that could get her around every corner. And in a way, there was. The TV, which no one had bothered to turn on, in fear of being reminded of Charlie. The picture of him, Bella, and Edward on prom night. His slippers in the corner of the room. Monsters in their own way. She started to hum a melody I didn't recognize very quietly, while clenching and unclenching Edward's jeans, or hand, or shirt. Edward rested his head on her hair, and looked like he could have cried if he wasn't a vampire. I pretended to read the newspaper.

"I wish we had a piano here. Then you could play it for me." Bella said, staring at a wall. Edward didn't say anything at first.

"You have the C.D." He said finally.

"It's still under my floorboard." She said, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I can get it." He said. He looked like he was in physical pain.

"I wish we had a piano here." Bella repeated her first line again. She was playing with Edward's fingers now. "You're hands look so nice when you play." She said.

"I'll teach you how to play it." Edward said.

"I don't want to know how. It has to only be you." She stated. "I can't play my own lullaby." Now it was getting too much, and I left the room. I left the house. I jogged slowly around the block 6 times, until I felt that nice burn in my calves. I came back into the house, and saw Renee at the table. I acknowledged her, and started to make tea for Bella. I had decided that Bella really loved Edward. It was obvious. It was also obvious he loved her. I decided I didn't care anymore. I would try and support Bella in this time of her life. I headed upstairs with the tea, and entered Bella's room. She was lying down on the bed face down, with her limbs spread out. Edward was in the chair beside her, looking casual in a college sweatshirt. A beautiful, piano melody was playing in her C.D player, and I guessed this was the lullaby Bella had been talking about. Edward looked tortured. I looked away from him, and placed the tea on Bella's table.

"Thank you." I head her muffled voice say. I nodded in acknowledgment, and closed the door again.

EDWARD POV

Bella sneezed lightly against the pillows as the lullaby finished.

"Bless you." I said. She turned over, and just looked at the ceiling for a while. I decided not to say anything. After a little time, she got up, and walked over to where I was seated in the rocking chair. She sat down on my lap, and breathed a sigh. She huddled into me, and buried her face in the soft jersey cloth of the hoodie I was wearing.

"Edward, will you stay?" She choked out.

"Forever." I promised, stroking her hair. A long silence stretched out the time, in which I rocked her. "It's going to be alright."

"Is it?" She sniffled.

"I promise you we will get through this. I won't let anything happen to you." I told her, and she wrapped her arms around my neck, squeezing me tighter than she ever had before. I returned the pressure, and kissed her neck gently.

"I love you." She whispered, her voice shaky.

"I love you too." I said, hugging her warm body to mine. She cried quietly for a while, and then I helped her to her bed, where she drank the tea Jacob had made. We lay silently together in bed, watching the sun set.

"Edward? Can you read Wuthering Heights?" She asked timidly. I smiled despite the pain I was feeling, and picked up the beaten up book from the side table.

"Of course. Where should I start?" I asked.

"Start at the start." She said quietly, and I began to read.

"1801. - I have just returned from a visit to my landlord - the solitary neighbor that I shall be troubled with. This is certainly a beautiful country! In all England, I do not believe that I could have fixed on a situation so completely removed from the stir of society. A perfect misanthropist's heaven: and Mr. Heathcliff and I are such a suitable pair to divide the desolation between us. A capital fellow! He little imagined how my heart warmed towards him when I beheld his black eyes withdraw so suspiciously under their brows, as I rode up, and when his fingers sheltered themselves, with a jealous resolution, still further in his waistcoat, as I announced my name. 'Mr. Heathcliff?' I said." I read to her.

"A nod was the answer." She completed the next sentence, smiling. I was so glad to see her smile. I hadn't seen it in days.

"Mr. Lockwood, your new tenant, sir. I do myself the honor of calling as soon as possible after my arrival, to express the hope that I have not inconvenienced you by my perseverance in soliciting the occupation of Thrushcross Grange: I heard yesterday you had had some thoughts - ' 'Thrushcross Grange is my own, sir,' he interrupted, wincing. 'I should not allow any one to inconvenience me, if I could hinder it - walk in!' " I read all the way to the middle of the second chapter, getting lost in the story with Bella. Soon, her breathing became even and her warm body clutched close to mine. I sighed, and put down the book, kissing her hair and pulling the quilt over us.

BELLA POV

I listened to Edward's melodical voice read me Wuthering Heights, and was entranced. His voice caressed the old-fashioned words and ways of speaking, and when he spoke Heathcliff's lines, I realized I had been imagining what it would sound like since I met him. This had to be the way it was supposed to be read. This was just one more thing Edward was good at, the character's seemed even more vivid than usual and the situations even more chaotic. I cuddled close to him, and let the words I knew so well lull me to sleep. I drifted off into my first dream since the accident that wasn't about my father. It was about Edward, only his name was Heathcliff, and mine was Catherine. It was 1801, but we were still living in the house I had now. It was odd, since we still had to go to school, and all of my friends were characters in Wuthering Heights. It gave me a bizarre urge to laugh.

JACOB POV

I listened to Bella ask Edward to read her favorite book, and heard the first line's of Wuthering Heights spoken in his smooth voice. I ran my hands through my hair, and shook off the renewed jealousy. I sat down and turned on the TV quietly, before turning it off again, grimacing painfully as the cheery sounds of tonight's football game penetrated the silence. Renee and Phil talked quietly in the kitchen, and I sighed, retiring to my bed on the couch. I had been down to see my dad earlier today, and he was a wreck. He barely talked; he had just lost his best friend in the world. But I couldn't stay there, I couldn't be around him. I needed to be here, with Bella, helping as much as I could. I needed to make up for the pain I had caused her and the choices I had forced her to make. I needed to gain her trust again. I needed to sleep.

EDWARD POV

The sun was just barely rising, pink hues just appearing on the horizon, when the pair of big brown eyes beside me opened. She was silent, looking at me, and playing with my hair. I smiled.

"Good Morning." I whispered.

"Morning." She whispered back. "Let's go for a walk." She said inexplicably.

"Are you sure?" I asked. She nodded. "Alright." I agreed. She let me help her up, and pulled on my sweatshirt from yesterday, along with some sweatpants, gathering her hair into a sloppy bun, hair falling around her face. I followed her down the stairs. I scribbled a note for Renee, Phil, and Jacob, and let her pull me out the door. It smelt fresh, that smell that only early mornings have, untainted by car exhaust or sun just yet. I wrapped my arm around her waist, and we strolled slowly down the street.

"It's so pretty." She said quietly. I nodded. She breathed deeply, tears rolling silently down her face. We walked, not saying anything, through the forest path and then all the way to the library, all around the town basically. By the time we had reached the front door of her house once again, it was full morning, birds chirping in the trees and cars rattling down the street.

ONE WEEK LATER

She looked at her reflection in the mirror and sniffled. She was wearing a somewhat tight fitting black dress that came down to mid thigh and black flats, courtesy of Alice. Her hair was neatly curled and her face was clean.

"I don't want to go." She whimpered. It was the morning of Charlie's funeral.

"I know, honey." I comforted her, rubbing her shoulders. I was wearing a plain suit, and had combed my hair. She turned around and wrapped her arms around me. I leaned down and kissed her gently, breathing in the scent of her shampoo. She looked more normal than she had in a while, dressed in normal clothes, and her hair brushed. But there was still an aura of perceivable sadness that hung around her, her eyes still not the same. I led her down the stairs and watched her give Jacob, dressed in a clean crisp suit, a light hug. I watched her fall into her mother, and watched even more tears fall down her face. She came back over to me, and wrapped her arm around my waist, securing herself there. We climbed into my Volvo, and drove towards the funeral home.

"I suck at speeches." She whispered, wiping away a tear.

"You're ready." I assured her.

"It's not good." She grimaced.

"It's beautiful." I told her, and in truth, it was. When we had started to organize Charlie's funeral, we had given Bella only one job, to write what she felt. And she did, she spent just three hours writing her speech, and it was wonderful. It nearly moved me to tears, or it would have, if I could cry. She had memorized it easily, and now the only thing stopping her was her nerves. We arrived at the site, and I helped a trembling Bella out of the car.

"I can't do this." She whispered.

"You can. I'll be right here with you, just find my face in the crowd." I told her, and she took a deep breath. I wrapped my arm around her, and we joined the rest of the guests around the coffin. It was a windy day, but without rain, the leaves on the trees a beautiful orange. The casket was white, and piled on top were bunches of daffodils. The sight of it made Bella choke down a sob, and I rubbed her back reassuringly. I looked around, and took in all the faces of people who had showed up. All of Charlie's fellow policemen were here, along with his Harry Clearwater and Jacob's father. There were other parents from the neighborhood, and their children, including Bella's friends. My family stood somber and still across from me, and I caught my father's eye. Renee was sobbing into Phil as the minister began his meaningless speech. Bella stood silently beside me, tears rushing down her face. The minister finished.

"And now, I'd like to invite Isabella Swan up to say a few words." He said. Bella shook, and I kissed her cheek reassuringly as she left my side, and walked up to the podium. I gave her a reassuring look, and listened to her speak, my heart tearing apart.

BELLA POV

I looked out at all the people who had loved my father, and gulped, clearing my swollen throat.

"On behalf of myself and my family, I would like to thank everyone for being here." I began. "I was dreading today. I don't want to cry anymore. I don't want to yearn to hug my dad one last time, long to see his crinkly smile or hear his steady voice. But I wanted to come here today so that I could be around all of the people who loved my dad." I said, my gaze fixed on Edward. He smiled encouragingly. "This still doesn't feel real to me. I feel like one morning I'll wake up, and find my father seated at the kitchen table, fixing his favourite fishing rod. How do you find happiness again? How do you move forward despite your aching heart, emptiness and sadness? It's like I'm in the midst of a nightmare that doesn't disappear when I wake up. I desperately want to be happy again. I want to reassure myself that my dad is still with me in spirit. So I'm going to take this time to remember him.

My dad was the shyest person I've ever known. But when he believed there was truth in something, he tried to educate us all in the hopes we might open our minds to new possibilities. He was silly, with a great sense of humor. His warm presence was always felt in a room. If I ever had a question about something, he always had answers, even if he didn't know what he was talking about. He was generous with his time. He would do anything for anybody at any time, and was devoted to his job. He loved so many people with all his heart.

I remember many wonderful things about my dad. As a child, he'd laugh at my stubbornness, he'd put me on his back and gallop around the house eventually flinging me onto his bed, if I was scared at night and I called out I knew he would always hear me and come to my side. When I moved away to Phoenix, he was always in my heart, despite the distance. I wasn't always the most lively when I came to visit in the summer's, and I regret the time I didn't spend with him, but I remember staying up all night to watch the thunder storms.

As a teenager I will remember how he always wore his chief's hat wherever he went and how the Police station was like his second home. I'll remember how he always brought home fish, how he loved to watch the football game, and how we took care of each other. I'll remember the excitement in the room when he would speak about his work, or sending me off to college. I remember how he had an attitude towards my boyfriend, Edward Cullen, which I could see right through. I'm so lucky to have someone like Edward to take care of me, and I know if my dad was here, he would be glad I have him, and they would shake hands like old friends. I know that he would tell all of us to stay strong, and to take care of ourselves.

All of us here are suffering from the loss of my father, but the world will also now suffer from the loss of a great man who had much more to do on this earth. He wasn't finished here, and I think that all of us are meant to live our lives to the fullest, making up for the life that was cut short. If I could see my father one more time, I would tell him that I love him insanely, that I am so proud of the life he led, that we'll all be okay, and I will keep him in my heart always. Thank you." I uttered my last words, tears streaming down my face, and rushed down the aisle back to Edward, cowering into him.

EDWARD POV

Everyone payed their respects to Charlie after Bella's speech, and I watched Bella lay a bouquet of lilies of the coffin. She touched the chief's hat that rested on top of the daffodils gently, and then walked slowly back in my direction. I wrapped my am around her, not saying anything, and she leaned against me as we walked back to the Volvo. She sniffled a little on the way home, but was mostly silent. I squeezed her hand reassuringly. We got home after Renee, Phil, and Jacob, having taken the scenic route, and Bella changed quickly into sweatpants and my t-shirt again. She hugged her mother and cried for a while, and then we all sat down to dinner. I had taken to eating small bits of food, just to seem normal for Renee and Phil, but whenever she told me I wasn't eating much, I used the excuse that Bella used. Bella pushed her potatoes around on her plate, staring at them miserably.

"Bella?" Renee broke the silence. She looked up. "I was wondering if you wanted to move back to Florida with me? It might help." She asked. Bella looked panicked, and shook her head.

"No way! I'm not leaving! You can't make me! What about Edward? What about Jacob?" She nearly shouted.

"They could come." Her mother said quietly.

"No. No. Definitely not. Never. Except for visits." Bella said. Her mother bit her lip.

"Alright, darling. We'll be here as long as you need us." She said. Bella just looked at her, and squeezed her hand.

"Okay. I'm sorry mom." She choked out. Her mother just smiled gently, patting Bella's hand.

BELLA POV

I was exhausted, more tired than I had ever been in my life. I dragged myself up the stairs and mistakenly looked in the wrong direction, towards my father's room. Edward followed my gaze, and sighed. Tears were rolling down my face again, but I was so used to them they didn't bother me. I walked as if possessed towards his bedroom door, and yanked it open. I felt my heart spilt in two, and I held onto Edward's waist. The room looked the same as always, messy and disorganized, with clothes falling out of the dresser drawers, and a plaid quilt on the bed. I walked carefully over to the dresser, stepping over socks, and picked up a shirt. I pressed the fabric to my face, it still smelt just like him. Dry sobs raked my body, and I cried into the shirt, trying to absorb all of it's wonderful smell. I felt Edward approach me from behind, and rub my back as I hugged the shirt close to me.

"Bella?" His soft voice asked. I turned around and climbed into his lap, hiding my face in his neck and letting him absorb my tears. He held me close, and my hands wrapped around his neck. I let him carry me to my room, passed Jacob and my Mother, and into bed.

JACOB POV

I heard Bella erupt in sobs worse than she had cried in a while, and rushed up the stairs, Renee on my heels. I followed the sound the doorway of Charlie's bedroom, and felt like crying myself when I saw all the familiar items. Bella was seated on the ground in Edward's lap, holding one of Charlie's shirts close to her. I wish I could comfort her like he did, but as I saw her hide her face in his neck, and watched him pick her up so tenderly, I felt bad for wishing it. I felt a tear roll down my hot cheek, and watched Edward carry Bella into bed. I walked silently back down the stairs, and Renee followed Bella into her room.

EDWARD POV

I set Bella down on her bed, and watched her curl up into a ball. I sat down close beside her and grasped her hand. Her mother walked quietly in, sitting on Bella's other side.

"Hey, baby." Her mother said gently, rubbing her shoulder. Jacob appeared in the doorway.

"I'm sorry." Bella whispered.

"You don't have to be sorry, honey." Renee soothed. Bella sat up and climbed into her arms like a child.

"Why did this happen?" She cried gently.

"I don't know." Her mother whispered, kissing her hair. She looked up at Jacob.

"Are you okay, Jake?" She asked him. He tried to smile.

"Sure. I'm fine Bells." He said gently. She climbed back out of her mother's arms, and towards me. I opened my arms for her, and she huddled into my chest.

"I'm tired." She whispered.

"I know." I whispered back. Renee gave me a small, grateful smile, before touching Bella's shoulder, and heading back downstairs. Jacob stood in the doorway still, looking lost. He looked down, and then back up. He looked right into my eyes, and I read his mind.

"I know you're hearing this. I just wanted to say I'm sorry. Yeah, I still love her. But I'm just grateful she has someone. I see how she looks at you, and she's never looked at me that way. So I'm sorry. I'm not going to be annoying anymore. You aren't that bad, by the way." He thought. I grinned at the last part.

"Thank you Jacob." I said sincerely, getting up and leaving a half asleep Bella for a second. I crossed the room and shook his warm hand. He looked like he didn't know what to do with himself. He smiled a small smile.

"Jesus you're cold." He said.

"Sorry." I apologized sheepishly. "Fresh start?" I asked. He nodded.

"Fresh start. Maybe we could be...sorta friends. Or not." He said. I grinned despite the pain in my chest.

"Okay." I said, and as he turned to walk down the stairs, I called after him. "And you aren't that bad yourself, by the way." He chuckled. I headed back into the room, and wrapped my arms around Bella.

"I love you." She muttered sleepily.

"I love you too." I told her, kissing down her neck.

"Wuthering Heights." She said simply, holding my face between her hands and kissing my nose. I grinned. I picked up the old book, and started reading at Chapter 5, where we had gotten too.

BELLA POV

The morning sun shone brightly through my window, and I sighed, happy it wasn't raining. I felt better than I had in weeks. I sat up. Edward smiled gently at me.

"And how are we this morning?" He asked. I pressed my lips to his and smiled weakly.

"Okay." I answered him. My stomach rumbled distinctively, and for the first time in a while, I actually wanted to eat. "I'm hungry." Edward beamed.

"That's great!" He said, and I let him throw me over his shoulder and carry me downstairs. He set me down at the kitchen table beside Jacob. I tried to smile at him. Edward rustled in the cupboards, and frowned.

"We need to go to the store. I'll be right back." He said. I jumped out of my seat.

"No! I'll come with you." I said. I turned to Jacob. "Come with us?" I asked him. He nodded, and followed Edward and I out the door, having slipped some shoes on. Edward went in the direction of his Volvo. "Can we walk?" I asked. He nodded and wrapped his arm around my waist. I leaned into him. Jacob walked beside us with his hands in his pockets. I reached out a hand and touched his shoulder gently. He smiled a small smile at me, and we walked on. We reached the small supermarket, and I remembered how it had made me feel at home my first day here. I had driven my truck Charlie had bought me the day before. At this thought, my throat tightened, and I breathed deeply, trying to prevent the tears. I walked bravely by Edward's side into the market, where we bought some eggs and bread. As we were leaving, I spotted Jessica and Angela moving towards a car, Mike beside them. I waved. They walked over quickly, and smiled.

"Bella." Angela said warmly.

"How are you?" Jessica asked. I tried to smile back at them.

"Hey guys. I'm okay, thanks." I said, unsure of myself. Mike grinned broadly, coming up behind the two girls. I felt Edward stiffen and watched Jacob's hands clench for a minute.

"Hey Bella." He greeted me. His smile always made my insides feel nice, he just had such a happy face.

"Hey Mike. How are things?" I smiled back.

"Pretty good. You?" He asked, his eyes concerned.

"I'm okay." I said, and he smiled in relief.

"That's good. We really miss you at school." He told me, and I shuffled my feet.

"Oh...ya. School." I muttered. Mike shoved his hands in his pockets awkwardly. He looked at Edward, his hand still territorially placed on my waist, and then at Jacob, whose face was stony.

"Well, we had better be going." He said. I nodded.

"Bye." I smiled weakly again. He grinned, and turned around, walking back towards his car. Jessica and Angela followed, after hugging me lightly. We walked leisurely out of the parking lot, a grocery bag swinging from Jacob's hand.

"I hate Newton." Edward muttered.

"I know you do." I rolled my eyes.

"I hate him too." Jacob agreed, nodding his head.

"I wish he would stop smiling like a stupid elf or something." Edward murmured. Jacob laughed.

"Hey. He was my first friend here guys. He's really sweet." I defended him.

"More like obsessed." Jacob said.

"You're one to talk." I countered. This silenced him.

"I agree with Jacob." Edward chuckled.

"He was better than you at the time. At least he didn't give me death glares and refuse to talk to me. At least he was nice." I retorted. Edward looked offended.

"What?" Jacob asked as we walked up the street.

"Oh yes. Edward had a little bit of a problem with me at the beginning of the year." I sneered jokingly. He frowned. Jacob laughed again. "Mike actually asked me if I stabbed you with a pencil, remember?" I nudged Edward's side.

"Sorry." He grimaced. I smiled gently, wrapping my arm tightly around him.

"I'm just kidding." I said warmly. He smiled down at me, looking content.

An hour later, I stood in the living room with Edward, my mother and Phil had gone out to buy some toiletries they forgot in Florida, and Jacob was visiting his dad quickly. My lullaby played softly in the C.D player, and Edward swayed us gently to and fro. His arms were tight around me and his head resting on top of mine. I stood on his feet and hugged him securely. The lullaby repeated itself over and over and I eventually closed my eyes. I lay my head down on his chest, a few lonely tears leaking out the sides of my eyelids. I breathed deeply and Edward kissed my head.

"We'll make it through this." He whispered.

"Will we?" I asked quietly.

"We will." He answered, his voice steady. I hugged him tighter, if that was possible, and let one sob shake me before quieting down and enjoying the calming quiet feeling of his back and forth movements. I kissed his sculpted chest gently. If I hadn't found Edward, I didn't know what I would do. He kept me sane. He kept my head out of dangerous thoughts. My feet would be planted firmly on the ground as long as his were. I missed my father intensely, the pain rippled through me constantly. But Edward was like an anesthetic. He was there to soothe the pain and heal it. I heard the door slam and Jacob waltzed in. I released Edward awkwardly, blushing, and flopped down on the couch. He did the same, and shot a sideways grin at me as Jacob shook his head and rolled his eyes, leaving the room. I smiled for what felt like the first time in months, and took a deep breath. It would take me years to get over this. But I wasn't alone.

**Thanks Guys! Review?**


	5. Chapter 5 Jacob

**Hey everyone! Here's the next update. Sorry about the big jump in the timeline, but it would have just continued on basically the same as before. I thought I'd give you something more interesting :) Review pls?**

..ALMOST 2 MONTHS LATER..

BELLA POV

"You're sure you'll be alright?" My mother asked, holding my face in her hands. I nodded.  
"I'm sure." I told her. She slipped into her shoes and spun in a circle, making sure she had everything.  
"Bye Bells." Phil smiled. I gave him a hug, and released him, letting him pick up their suitcases. Edward stood behind me, saying goodbye to my mother with me. She had been here for almost four months, and was now ready to go back to Florida.  
"Oh! I almost forgot!" She exclaimed. She pushed me out of the way and threw her arms around Edward. He looked surprised at first, but returned the embrace. She released him, still holding firmly to his forearms. "You are a good boy." She stated. "And I'm really going to miss you."  
"I'll miss you too Renee." He smiled.  
"You take care of her." My mother ordered.  
"You have my word." He promised, sincerity ringing in his voice. Jacob entered the room, carrying one more of their suitcases.  
"Almost forgot this!" He said, handing it to Phil. He looked at him gratefully. My mother smiled at Edward once more, and patted his cheek. He grinned, as she released him, and took a deep breath.  
"Okay." She looked at me in the eyes. "My beautiful Bella. You will be okay. I'll be back as soon as I can." She said.  
"Alright mom." I choked out, wrapping my arms around her slender frame.  
"I love you." She whispered.  
"I love you too." I smiled, ignoring the tightening of my throat, and kissing her cheek. She released me, standing up straight again. A horn beeped from the driveway, a signal that the taxi driver was getting impatient. She gave Jacob a quick hug, and hurried out the door with Phil on her heels. I watched them go, and then sighed, flopping down on the couch. It was silent for a while. Jacob lay lazily in a chair while Edward held my feet in his lap. It was early June, and the weather was changing, becoming warmer than usual for Forks, not hot, just warm. Edward was sporting beige Bermuda shorts and thin t-shirts, and even I had taken to lighter weight clothing.  
"You know." I started, breaking the silence. "We kind of have our own house." Edward grinned, nodding.  
"What are we going to do in it?" Edward mused. I poked his flat stomach with my index finger.  
"I don't know. What are you implying?" I asked. He shrugged, smiling mischievously. Jacob shook his head, his shoulders starting to shake. Edward grinned evilly.  
"Maybe we could-" He said quite loudly. Jacob rolled his eyes.  
"I take this as my queue to leave." He muttered.  
"Sorry Jake." I said brightly. He got up and stomped out of the house, leaving us alone. Edward smiled, pulling me on top of him. He twirled some of my hair around his finger, and kissed my nose. I looked him in the eyes, and they were dark gold, swimming and perfect. I felt butterflies in my stomach as he wrapped his arms around me, and it was like our first kiss again. I hadn't kissed him, I mean really kissed him, for a while now. There had been the occasional peck or goodnight kiss, and the odd short one, but I had never really been in the mood lately. But now, the house silent, my worries and thoughts melted away. He pressed his lips softly to mine, and then put more pressure, his fingers trailing up and down my spine. I held his face securely to mine, and let go of it only momentarily to grab his hair and pull it. He groaned slightly, and I smiled against his lips, pushing myself against him. I broke apart for air, and even he was breathing heavier than usual. He smiled crookedly at me, and I attacked him again. He tuned us over swiftly so that he was hovering over top of me, barely putting any weight on me. He kissed down my neck and back up again, sending shivers down my back. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer again, my lips touching his. Suddenly, I felt my stomach drop, and Edward cushioned our fall onto the floor. He laughed more freely than I had heard in a while, and grabbed a handful of my hair gently, pressing his lips onto mine once more. We broke apart, breathing heavily, and I looked at him. He stroked my hair.  
"You're gorgeous." He whispered. I blushed, and smiled.  
"As are you." I said, resting my head on his chest. He was cool and refreshing, and as I closed my eyes, and saw him close his as well, I drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

JACOB POV  
"You know." Bella broke the silence. "We kind of have our own house." She smiled at Edward. He grinned lazily as well.  
"What are we going to do in it?" He asked her. She poked his stomach.  
"I don't know. What are you implying?" She asked. He shrugged, smiling boyishly. I shook my head, shaking. I hated this.  
"Maybe we could-" Edward said quite loudly, obviously hinting at something. I rolled my eyes and stood up.  
"I take this as my queue to leave." I muttered, and Bella smiled.  
"Sorry Jake." She said happily. I stomped out of the house, not wanting to be there while they did who knows what. I looked around outside, the weather was nice. I headed in the direction of the forested trail by Bella's house, and jogged up it slowly. A while later, I took a break on a log. I kicked around the dirt on the floor, and sighed. Bella had gotten slightly better in the past two months, and was happy when she wanted to be. But she was still trying to pull herself out of the shock, we all were. Sometimes the emotions and loss overwhelmed her, and she would barely talk for the whole day, and there were always the times when something would remind us of Charlie, and we would all go quiet, just remembering. Edward had become sort of a friend lately, he really wasn't all that bad, and could eve be funny sometimes. But I still hated the feeling in my gut when I saw them together. Insanely jealous, and guilty for feeling jealous.  
I checked my watch and saw that it as 5pm. I got up sluggishly and headed back, dragging my feet. I arrived back at the house a little time later, and walked into the living room, only to find Bella sprawled on top of Edward. They were on the ground, halfway underneath the coffee table. Bella was breathing deeply, sleeping. Edward's eyes were closed too, an arm thrown over his face, and it looked like he had no intention of opening them. I smiled and shook my head despite myself. I popped open my cell phone, and snapped a picture of the two of them, planning to send it in to their yearbook planning committee. I decided to play a trick on Bella, and tip toed into the room, sitting down quietly on the couch. I turned on the football game, and put the volume on the highest it would go. She jumped, hitting her head on the coffee table and cursing.  
"Jesus Jacob!" She exclaimed angrily. I laughed, grinning. She rolled off Edward, who opened his eyes unwillingly, and pulled her back. She grumbled, and looked at Edward. His eyes were closed again. "Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, are you attempting to sleep?" She asked him incredulously. He smiled.  
"No, Isabella Marie Swan. It's just nice." He said. She rubbed the back of her head.  
"Don't call me that." She said.  
"Don't say my full name." He countered.  
"Well Cullen isn't even your name, Mr. Masen." She said. "What the hell Jake." She whined. "My head hurts."  
"Sorry Bells." I grinned. Edward groaned as Bella got up again, and sat back down on the couch. He sat up slowly, and ran a hand through his hair, and sighed, standing up.  
"Bella?" Edward said. She looked up from the hole in her sweatpants she was picking at.  
"Mmm?"  
"I need to...go out with Emmett for a little while." He said, looking pained. A panicked look crossed Bella's face, and she bit her lip.  
"Okay." She said quietly.  
"I'll only be gone until the morning." He reassured her.  
"The morning?" Bella squeaked. He nodded.  
"Will you be alright? I can stay if you need me too."  
"I'll be fine." She tried to smile at him. "Really." I was confused, why did Edward suddenly have to leave? He frowned.  
"I'm sorry." He said sincerely.  
"Where are you even going?" I asked curiously.  
"Well, I know it's probably nice to have food sitting in your cupboard, but I have to catch mine." He grinned.  
"Oh...right." I had completely forgotten. I had spent the better part of three months with Edward and he hadn't left.  
"How long can you go without it?" I asked.  
"A pretty long time. But it gets to be kind of painful." He told me. I nodded awkwardly.  
"When are you leaving?" Bella asked. A honk sounded from outside.  
"Apparently now." Edward said, looking annoyed. Bella's face fell. He leaned in and kissed her, and I turned away. I looked back when they were finished, grumbling to myself. They ignored me as usual.  
"Catch me a mountain lion, lion boy." Bella grinned. Edward smiled crookedly back.  
"Will do." He said, and then growled. Bella laughed, and he rushed out the door as Emmett honked again. She sighed.

BELLA POV  
Edward shut the door behind him, and I sighed. I looked over at Jacob and was filled with warmth for my best friend. He smiled at me, and his puppy eyes conveyed sadness. He still wasn't my Jake.  
"What to do?" He asked me. I shrugged.  
"I don't know. I'm bored." I said, missing Edward already.  
"How about a movie?" He suggested.  
"Okay, but can we just rent one and get pizza? I'm not up for going out."  
"Sure sure." He answered in a familiar way. We both got up, and headed towards the front door. I wrapped my arms around him on impulse. I hadn't hugged him for so long. He looked surprised, but then hugged me back. He was warm, almost too warm. It was nice, but it wasn't as comforting as Edward's hugs, surrounding and mesmerizing. I released him, and we slipped on our shoes and walked outside. It was warm, and just getting dark, the sun setting. We walked in silence for a while.  
"I really miss him." Jacob said. I knew he was talking about my Dad. A sharp pain shot through my stomach.  
"Me too." I said quietly. He sighed, and looked at me.  
"Sometimes in the mornings I forget it happened, and that makes it worse when I realize it did."  
"It's the dreams that get me." I told him. We reached the video store, and rented _Meet The Fockers_, just for a laugh. Laughing felt good these days. We got back home and ordered a pizza, half cheese for me and half meat-lovers for Jacob. It got here quickly, and I rushed to get the door.  
"ERIC?" I said incredulously.  
"I knew it! I was telling Tyler this was your house!" He exclaimed. His acne had cleared up and it looked like he was using shampoo finally.

"Since when are you a pizza delivery guy?" I asked him. He shrugged.  
"Since the beginning of this summer. It blows." He said, his shoulders slumping. "But I gotta start my college fund!" He said, brightening up again. I heard a car door slam and saw Tyler jogging up to the door as well. I waved happily.  
"It's so nice to see you guys again." I smiled.  
"We miss you Bella." Tyler said.  
"Ya, we never go out to the movies anymore with you and Jess and Ange." Eric complained.  
"Sorry guys." I said apologetically.  
"No, it's okay Bella. We understand. Hey, where's Edward?"  
"Visiting his aunt in Port Angeles. She fell ill." I made up on the spot.  
"I thought he was adopted?" Eric questioned.  
"Carlisle's sister." I said casually. They nodded. Jacob came up behind me, and they looked him up and down.  
"Well, we better get going." Tyler said. Eric nodded, thrusting the pizza at me. I thanked them, and they scurried back to the car with the pizza place logo on the side. I frowned as they drove away.  
"You didn't have to scare them." I accused Jacob jokingly. He smiled.  
"Sorry. Not my fault I'm so threatening. Besides, they were annoying you." He said.  
"No they weren't! They're my friends. Friends I have been out of touch with for months." I said.  
"I didn't like them." He said. I rolled my eyes.  
"You're even worse than Edward. It's only Mike that bugs him. Every time we get near him, it's like he wants to murder someone." I said. He chuckled.  
"They're all annoying." He shrugged.  
"Try having them all ask you to the prom in the space of one week." I said. He laughed again.  
"I thought you went with Edward." He stated. I remembered all to well the rather awkward run in that night between the two of them.  
"I did. He sat back and watched them humiliate themselves. He had fun with that. Once he even backed up the traffic so that Tyler could ask me." I grinned at the memory.  
"How did you say no?" Jacob asked.  
"I told them I was out of town." I blushed.  
"Classy." He commented. We settled down with the box of pizza on the coffee table, and played the movie. Within the first three minutes, we were laughing. We sat close, but not too close. Jacob was respecting Edward's boundaries quite well these days. The movie ended, and I sighed, my feet dangling off the couch. I was getting restless without Edward here, and my stomach swirled uncomfortably.  
"Hungry Bells?" Jacob chuckled. I had eaten my whole side of the pizza, hungrier than I usually was. I rolled my eyes and pulled his hair. He frowned.  
"Ouch." He whined. I slumped in my seat, and sighed. "That hurt." He complained.  
"Sorry." I sighed. There was a silence that stretched out for a couple minutes. I thought about going to bed, but the thought of my empty bed without Edward in it wasn't appealing.  
"Edward loves it when I pull his hair." I said, breaking the silence. I felt like crying, but then pulled myself back together. I looked over at Jacob, his eyes even sadder than usual. "I'm sorry Jake."  
"You really love him, don't you?" He asked. I nodded.  
"So much it hurts." I told him. "Him not being here is like not having air."

JACOB POV

"Edward loves it when I pull his hair." She said, her lower lip jutting out. A pang shot through my chest. "I'm sorry Jake." She said, her big brown eyes sympathetic.  
"You really love him, don't you?" I asked her.  
"So much it hurts." She told me. "Him not being here is like not having air." I nodded, she really did look absent without him.  
"Bella, I'm sorry I tried to make you choose." I apologized.  
"I'm sorry too Jake. I'm sorry I don't feel that way. I really am, I see that it hurts you." She said, her eyes wide.  
"Don't be sorry, Bells." I said, trying to smile.  
"But you're still my best friend forever." She grinned. I felt my insides warm.  
"Okay." I agreed, smiling back.

An hour later, we had played two games of Scrabble, in which I was beaten terribly. Who ever knew 'Zouch' was a word? She was yawning constantly, and I shook my head.  
"Maybe you should go to sleep." I suggested. She groaned.  
"I can't." She answered me.  
"Why?" I asked her.  
"He's always here." She said flatly. I nodded.  
"Oh..."  
"Since...like ever." She said, her eyes far away.  
"How did you sneak him in without Charlie noticing?" I asked, trying to imagine Edward creeping up the stairs on tip toes.  
"The window." She answered. Of course.

BELLA POV

I suppose I really should be getting to bed. It was now one in the morning. I said goodnight to Jake and gave him a light hug before heading up to my bedroom. I sighed at how unwelcoming it felt without Edward waiting for me to climb into his arms. I reluctantly took a quick shower, and changed into a shirt of Edward's, along with his Dartmouth sweater, so that it felt like I was enveloped in a warm hug from him. I fell into my bed and pulled the covers over myself. I breathed deeply a couple times, and rolled over, trying to get comfortable. I fidgeted restlessly, but eventually fell into a fitful sleep, waking up quite a few times.

EDWARD POV

Dawn was just breaking on the horizon, and I ran leisurely back through the forest of Vancouver Island. I breathed in deeply, loving the smell of the early morning forest. But then I thought of Bella, and my still heart lurched. I ran faster than before, and soon reached La Push. I smiled and ran the rest of the way, through Forks and up to the house. I hopped up onto the windowsill, and sighed. She was there, spread out on her bed in my sweater and sweatpants. She breathed deeply, and was hugging a pillow, her brown curls falling over her face. I stepped lightly into the room, and crawled onto the bed. I kissed her forehead, and her eyes opened. She smiled brighter than I had seen in a while.  
"Edward!" She said loudly, sounding glad. I smiled.  
"Bella." I whispered, burrying my face in her hair. She pushed the pillow off the bed and wrapped her arms around me instead, hiding her face in my chest, and breathing deeply.  
"I missed you." She said. I stroked her hair.  
"I missed you too, sweetheart." I said,  
"That pillow was too squishy. Definitely doesn't compare to you." She sighed, looking up. I chuckled. She pulled herself up a little, and kissed me softly. I held her face gently, and returned the kiss. She touched her nose to mine.  
"I love you." I told her. She smiled.  
"I love you too." She said quietly. She smelled like fresh strawberries and freesia, and I kissed down her neck and all over her face. She giggled, and ran her fingers through my hair. "You have moss in your hair." She said. I felt my hair as well, and sure enough, there were bits of bracken and twigs stuck in it.  
"So I do." I grinned. "I should take a shower." She frowned and threw her arms around me again, squeezing me tightly. I squeezed her back, wrapping my arms around her slender waist, and then got up, heading off to have a shower.

BELLA POV

A feeling of relief filled my stomach as I opened my eyes and saw his looking at me.  
"Edward!" I nearly shouted. He smiled an angel's smile.  
"Bella." He whispered, burrying his face in my hair. I pushed the intrusive pillow I had been cuddling in place of Edward off the bed and wrapped my arms around his strong chest instead, hiding my face in it, and breathing deeply.  
"I missed you." I told him. I felt his gentle touch combing through my hair.  
"I missed you too, sweetheart." He said.  
"That pillow was too squishy. Definitely doesn't compare to you." I sighed, looking up to see his face. He chuckled. I pulled myself up a little so that I was on the same level, and kissed him softly. He held my face securely and gently, and I felt my heart flutter as his lips met mine. I pulled away and touched my nose to his.  
"I love you." He said, flashing me his white teeth.  
"I love you too." I told him. He kissed all the way down my neck and then all over my face. I giggled at his light touch, and ran my fingers through his hair. "You have moss in your hair." I told him, laughing. He reached up a hand to feel his hair as well.  
"So I do." He grinned crookedly. "I should take a shower." He said. I frowned and threw my arms around him again, squeezing him tightly and revelling in the comfort and familiarity. He squeezed me back, wrapping his arms around my waist, and then got up, heading off to have a shower.  
I headed downstairs and saw Jacob seated at the table, talking with Alice. She smiled at me, and got up to give me a hug.  
"Geez, you smell like my brother, mixed with dog." She giggled. I smiled and sat down with them at the table. Alice curled her short pixie hair around her finger, and looked like she wanted to say something.  
"What is it, Alice?" I asked.  
"It's father's day tomorrow." She blurted out. I put my head in my hands, I had been trying to avoid that fact. I heard the water upstairs stop, and moments later heard Edward descending the stairs. I turned to look at him. He was dressed in jean shorts and a gray shirt, a scowl on his face.  
"Well aren't you just the bringer of good news, Alice." He said, seating himself in the last chair available. I made my way over and settled down comfortably in his lap. His skin was still relatively warm from the hot water, and his hair was two shades darker, and arranged in tangles.  
"Well someone needed to bring it up." She shrugged. Edward growled at her, not saying anything. He wrapped an arm around my waist. Jacob too was scowling at Alice.  
"No one _needed _to bring it up." Jake said. She looked at him.  
"Yes they did. We need to decide what we're going to do." She said firmly, looking apologetic. There was a silence in which everyone looked at me. I blushed and cowered into Edward.  
"I'd like to visit him." I decided, and Edward tightened his hold on me.  
"His grave?" He questioned gently. I nodded. "Okay. We can do that."  
"Sounds okay to me." Jacob said agreeably. "My dad would like to come also."  
"Alright, so it's settled." Alice smiled sympathetically, and patted my hand. "I'm sorry Bella."  
"It's okay, Alice, I would have had to face it sooner or later."

**XOX**


	6. Chapter 6 Father's Day Proposal

**Hey guys! WHO HAS SEEN ECLIPSE? I thought it was better than the other ones, mostly because I hate Jacob, and Edward wins in this one. I was almost screaming when Jake kissed her :( And also the Deathly Hallows trailer before the movie made my heart stop. ANYWAYS here's the new update, and I know it's very fluffy at the end, but I love writing fluff :)**

**xox**

JACOB POV

The day passed quickly after Alice left. Bella and Edward had to go take their last final exam halfway through the day. Bella was more stressed than usual, since she hadn't been at school the past two months, and she graduated in four days. But Edward had prepared her well and she had studied sufficiently, and I knew she wouldn't fail. I mozied around the house for half an hour, occasionally turning the TV on and off, and eating chips. Eventually I got restless and took a run down to La Push, my stomach churning at the thought of asking my father to come visit Charlie's grave with us. He looked up from the football game as I entered the beaten up house, and tried to smile.  
"Oh, it's you, Jacob." He said.  
"Hey dad..." I said awkwardly, sitting down beside him on the couch.  
"I haven't see you since the funeral." He cleared his throat.  
"I know...I'm sorry about that, dad." I said.  
"It's alright. I understand. How's Bella doing?" He asked flatly.  
"She's...okay. But how are you dad?" I asked him. He looked terrible, with bags under his eyes and his beard growing scruffier than usual. He grunted and nodded his head back and forth, not looking me in the eyes or answering my question. I put a hand on his shoulder, and he looked down at it, unsure of how to react. I turned the volume down on the football game so that we could barely hear it. I smiled at him gently. He smiled back and pulled me in for a hug. He let a few rarely seen tears leak out of his eyes before wiping them away, embarrassed. He chuckled slightly.  
"It's good to see you, Jake." He said weakly.  
"You too, dad." I said, my throat tight. I told him about our plans for tomorrow, and he agreed with some persuasion to come visit Charlie's grave with us. I left reluctantly after a few hours of catching up, feeling a gravitational pull back to Bella's house. I basically lived there now. When I got back, it was about four in the afternoon, and I found that Bella and Edward were home. Edward was trying to calm Bella down, who was stressing about the Biology exam she had just taken.

BELLA POV

I walked into the school squeezing Edward's hand compulsively, I hadn't been here for so long. It wasn't full, because only the exams were taking place. But still, a fair amount of people stared as we walked through the hallways. Edward chuckled and pulled me to his side, wrapping an arm around my waist.  
"You'll do fine." He said, picking up on my shaking.  
"It's not that. Everyone is staring at me." I said, blushing.  
"Well, you kind of have to expect that." He said apologetically, and I nodded, still not getting why they couldn't just mind their own business. We turned into the cafeteria which had been converted into somewhat of a waiting area for students about to be taking their exams. I saw Angela and Jessica sitting with Mike and Ben at a far table, and we made our way towards them. Once again, people went silent as I walked by, and stared. I blushed even more, as we reached the table. Jessica scowled at them.  
"Oh just leave her alone!" She nearly shouted. Everyone hurriedly went back to their studying awkwardly, and I smiled.  
"Thanks Jess." I said.  
"No problem." She replied, hugging me quickly. She took a deep breath, and looked up at Edward. "Hi Edward!" She said brightly. I stifled a giggle, it looked like she was really trying to be friendly with him. He look surprised, but then smiled too.  
"Hello Jessica." He said.  
"Hi Edward!" Angela piped up. I smiled funnily at my two friends. Ben and Mike waved awkwardly.  
"Hi Angela." He smiled back at her. I spotted Emmett and Jasper walking into the room, and Edward kissed my head. "Be back in a second." He said, dashing away.  
"So what made you two so eager to talk to Edward recently?" I asked, curious. They blushed pink.  
"Well, Alice was over here just a couple minutes ago and she mentioned that we might actually want to talk with him once in a while, because he really is nice." Angela said quickly.  
"He is. As scary as he seems." I said.  
"I'm not scary." I heard Edward complain behind me.  
"Sorry." I grinned.  
"So how are you?" Ben spoke up, his kind face concerned.  
"I'm okay." I said, telling the truth. I wasn't wonderful, but I wasn't depressed.  
"That's good." He said, looking relieved. I tried to smile. It made me emotional, knowing that they worried about me. The shrill bell rang to signal it was time for the exam. We filed into the gym slowly and took our seats at the carefully arranged desks. Edward sat beside me. We started when they told us we could, and to my surprise, I breezed through most of the questions. I got stuck on a few tough ones, and sat biting the end of my pencil. When one hour was up, and we were allowed to leave, Edward shot me a grin, and got up to leave, handing his test in to the front. I rolled my eyes and continued, trying hard to concentrate, but it was nearly impossible. I did my best and left the room with everyone else, sighing. Edward was waiting for me at the door.  
"How do you think you did?" He asked me. I shrugged.  
"Not very good." I told him.  
"I don't believe that." He smiled. I wrapped my arm around his waist and chuckled, marching towards the exit, and his Volvo.

EDWARD POV  
The next morning was bright and sunny, but the feelings inside the house were somber. It was father's day. Bella opened her eyes, and looked at me with no expression on her face.  
"Hey." I said softly. She smiled a small smile, but it was gone quickly. We lay there for another hour. She drifted in and out of sleep, but mostly just sat quietly. When we heard Jacob making noise in the kitchen, she sat up. "When do you want to go?" I asked her, referring to the visit to Charlie's grave. She shrugged. "How about after breakfast?"  
"Okay." She said. She squeezed me tightly and then got up to get dressed.  
"I'm going to go make you some eggs." I told her, and she nodded, smiling weakly.

BELLA POV  
I smiled weakly at Edward as he left, and then sighed. Father's day had never been anything special for me. I had called Charlie from Phoenix to say hello, and maybe sent him a card in the mail, but nothing more. Now that he was gone, I wished that I had stayed on the phone longer, I wished I had said 'I love you' at the end of our conversations instead of an awkward goodbye, I wished I had made arrangements to come and visit him. But I couldn't now, and the realization tore through me like scissors gliding along wrapping paper. I held back tears that I didn't need, wiping away the few that had already slipped out, and opened my drawers. I dressed in one of Edwards many college sweaters, which Alice had snuck into my dresser at my request, and jeans, and made my way downstairs. Jacob gave me a small smile and I returned it reluctantly, it felt wrong to smile on a day like this. Edward was at the counter pushing eggs around in a pan, the phone held between his ear and shoulder. He looked up as I entered the room.  
"Phone for you." He said gently. I took it from him, and sat down at the table.  
"Hello?" I answered.  
"Bella!" Cried my mother's voice on the other end of the phone. "How are you?" She asked.  
"I'm okay." I said, and she sighed.  
"Oh baby. I'm so sorry." She said.  
"Mom, I'm okay." I reassured her.  
"Just calling to check in, thought I should today." She said, skipping over the word Father's Day.  
"I know. How are you?" I asked, fiddling with the pull strings on the hood of the sweater I was wearing.  
"I'm fine, just worried about you." She said. "How are Edward and Jacob?"  
"Good, they're okay too." I told her.  
"I like Edward." She told me.  
"I know you do." I said, smiling just a little. We talked for a while more before she had to rush off to Yoga, and I put down the phone, sighing. Edward smiled and pushed a plate of eggs and toast towards me. "Breakfast time for the human..." I muttered under my breath.  
"Yep." He said, grinning. I finished quickly, clearing my plate and getting myself a glass of water. "Ready?" Edward asked me. I nodded.  
"Can we take my truck?" I asked, and he smiled.  
"Of course." He said. Him, Jacob and I made our way outside and climbed in, Jacob lounging in the backseat and Edward in the driver's seat. I felt the dashboard and the leather that still smelt musty, and was reminded of my dad once again, him smiling awkwardly as he told me he had gotten me a car. I choked back a sob and let Edward's pressure on my hand calm me down. We drove all the way to the graveyard, my truck rumbling reliably along. All of the Cullen's were waiting for us there, and I watched Edward give Carlisle a hug and a sideways grin.  
"Happy father's day." He said. Carlisle rolled his eyes and ruffled his hair. Jacob greeted Emmett cheerfully, they had become good friends over the past weeks. Rosalie, surprisingly, gave me a small smile ad a sympathetic look. I returned the smile half heartedly and took Edward's hand in mine. Alice draped her arm over my shoulder, and we walked forwards towards Charlie's grave. It was made out of white marble, with golden words embossed onto the surface.  
_  
Charlie Swan  
Beloved father, friend, chief and partner  
His spirit shall always be in our hearts  
1966-2007  
_  
I stood in front of it, staring at the words blurred by my tears.  
"Happy Father's Day, dad." I whispered.  
"Happy Father's Day, Charlie." Edward said humbly by my side.  
"We miss you, Charlie." Jacob said, his eyes fixed on the stone. Everyone else mumbled their words softly, and I leaned into Edward's secure side, my arm around him. I heard a sound of wheels, and turned around. Billy was wheeling his way up the small hill towards us. I smiled despite myself, and watched as Jacob rushed to help him.  
"Happy Father's Day, Dad!" He exclaimed, and Billy patted his hand.  
"Thanks, son." He said, reaching us. He said nothing, but looked at the Cullen's awkwardly, and then fixed his eyes on the tombstone.  
"You were my best friend, Charlie." He said, and more tears rolled down my face. Edward wiped them away with his thumb. After a while, we all had said what we wanted to say, and I had lain a bouquet of flowers that Esme had brought on the grave.

EDWARD POV  
Bella's face was blank as we drove through the summer rain that had started as soon as we left the graveyard. Jacob had gone out for lunch with Billy, and the rest of my family had returned home. The windshield wipers wisked away the water, and their steady rhythm was the only sound in the car. I deliberately missed the turn on to Bella's street and answered her questioning look with a smile.  
"Where are we going?" She asked me, breaking the silence.  
"Not telling." I said, and she crossed her arms. I drove us all the way into Port Angeles and parked in front of _Bella Italia. _She really smiled for the first time today, and rolled her eyes.  
"Out for lunch?" She asked, and I nodded, helping her out of the car. I wrapped my arm around her slender waist and pulled her warm body closer to mine. The same desperate looking waitress from last time greeted us and sat us down at a booth near the back. Bella giggled.  
"How are you?" I asked, reaching for her hand across the table. She looked up at me, her brown eyes wide.  
"Okay." She answered. "I think going to the grave today made me feel better and worse in a way."  
"How?" I asked.  
"Worse because of all the memories. Better because I think I needed to do it, and it made me feel strong." She said. I nodded.  
"You are strong, lovely Bella." I told her.  
"No I'm not." She said quietly.  
"You are." I countered. She looked up at me and smiled gently.  
"I love you."  
"I love you too." I said, both my hands encasing hers. The waitress came back and we ordered the same thing as last time. I chuckled as I read her mind.  
"What?" Bella asked when she walked away.  
"She's experiencing terrible Deja-Vue." I told her, and she giggled as well.

We returned to the house in the late afternoon to find Jacob watching TV in the living room.  
"Where have you guys been?" He asked.  
"Out for lunch in Port Angeles." Bella answered happily.

BELLA POV

The next few days passed in a blur, with graduation the one clear point. We had dressed up in our terrible robes and made our way to the banquet hall in which it was being held. Jacob accompanied us and watched as we received our diplomas. As I had scanned the crowd, I had seen the face of my happy mother, who had come out just for the weekend to watch me graduate, the warm smiles of Carlisle and Esme, and Billy's smiling face. But no Charlie. I cried tears of happiness and sadness as the principal passed me my roll of paper tied with a red ribbon, and smiled as Jessica made her brilliant speech. Edward was smiling as well, and I leaned over to whisper in his ear.  
"How may times have you graduated now?" I chuckled.  
"This is the twenty second time." He grinned, "And it's by far the best." His arm tightened around my waist. I went reluctantly to Alice's graduation party, with Edward's persuasion, and danced for a while.  
"Congratulations." Edward said softly as we spun in circles slowly.  
"Thanks." I blushed.  
"Graduating with honours is a great thing you know, almost any college would take you." He said slyly.  
"I'm not going to Dartmouth!" I exclaimed.  
"Why not?" He asked, already knowing the reason. I just glared at him and he let it go, dashing off to get me a drink of punch. I made my way to the side of the room, leaning against the wall. Mike approached me, his blond hair in spikes, his happy face smiling.  
"Hey Bella." He said cheerily.  
"Hey Mike. I'm gonna miss you guys." I said truthfully. I had made more true friends here than ever in Phoenix.  
"Me too." He said, looking lost for words. I gave him a light hug and he flushed pink, still grinning. Edward came up behind him and cleared his throat. Mike scurried off to Jessica after one last fleeting smile in my direction. Edward passed me my drink and wrapped his arms around me.  
"Newton..." He muttered.  
"Oh stop it." I told him, and he grinned crookedly. I took a sip of the punch and put it down on a nearby table. I fell into Edward, sighing. "What am I going to do?" I asked desperately, Mike's sweet smile had reminded me that I might never see them again after Carlisle changed me. After all, he had promised to do it after graduation. What would I tell everyone?  
"Marry me." Edward whispered into my ear, kissing down my neck. I shivered at his light touch and ran a hand through his hair.  
I said nothing for a while, and considered this question for the hundreth time. After I became a vampire, I wouldn't get any older, so I would still look 17 even if I married Edward in 30 years. I really wanted him to change me, not Carlisle. And I really loved him with all my heart, all my soul. More than anything, I wanted to be with him forever, wanted to be able to spend the rest of my life with him. Wasn't marriage what people did when they felt that way? My hands moved to his chest, and I pressed myself up against him. He really wanted to marry me. Yes, people would talk, assume things, but why should I care? He looked down at me with his golden eyes, and I took a deep breath.  
"Okay. I will." I said steadily. He smiled the widest smile I had ever seen, and picked me up momentarily off the ground.  
"Really?" He asked excitedly. I nodded, smiling and biting my lip. He kissed me fiercely, shuffling us over to a corner of the room where no one was standing. I returned the kiss contentedly, and gave him a questioning look as he broke away and pulled my hand. He pulled us out of the house and down into the back yard, if you could call it that, it was more like a field. There was no one there, and Edward smiled, his white teeth shining in the dark.  
"Edward wha-" I began to ask, but he pressed a finger to my lips.  
"I want to do this properly. I want to do it how I would have done it if I had met you in 1917." He told me. I gave him a strange look for a moment, wondering what he was going to do, but then he got down on one knee, and my stomach sank. It was like when people sing you happy birthday, and you don't know what to do. I stood there awkwardly for a few seconds, before Edward's hands encased mine.  
"Edward, you don't have to do this." I said.  
"I want to. Bella, look at me." His velvet voice told me. I looked down to where he was kneeling, his face bright with excitement, and was immediately captured in his gaze. He took a deep breath. "Isabella Swan, I promise to love you more than anything. I promise to love you forever. I promise to love you unconditionally, with no boundaries, until the world explodes. Will you do me the inexplicable honour of becoming my wife?" He asked, honesty and sincerity ringing true in his voice. The words flowed smoothly and steadily out of his mouth, and I felt tears sting my eyes. He took out a tiny blue velvet box and opened it. A diamond ring was nestled there happily. It took me a while to answer.  
"Yes." I said simply, choking back sobs and trying to smile at the same time. He grinned again, and stood up straight, slipping the ring onto my finger. He looked at me for a split second, and then gathered me up in his arms and spun me around in circles, laughing. I hid my face in his neck as he did this, and giggled as we collapsed onto the warm grass. He looked over at me, and pressed his lips gently to mine, his hand holding the back of my neck gently. His lips moved smoothly with mine, soft and slow like nothing I had ever felt before. We lay there in the grass for an hour, before he ran me back home. I was glad Jacob was already sleeping, I had no intention of telling him about the wedding yet. I fell into a peaceful sleep, Edward's strong arms around me.

**Reviews? 3**


	7. Chapter 7 Birthday Boy

**Hey everyone! This is sort of a short update, but pretty fluffy :) Hope you all like it! **

**XOX**

BELLA POV

Two days later, I woke with a start. I had been dreaming about Charlie again ever since Father's day. I looked to my side, and noticed that Edward wasn't there. Hearing sounds in the kitchen, I assumed it was him and Jacob. I smiled maliciously to myself. It was Edward's birthday, June 20th. I had realized this the day before, and had gone on a last minute outing with Angela to buy him a present. It was a hard decision, and I had no idea what to buy for him, but eventually we picked out really funny flamingo patterned boxers as a joke, and a soft, cream coloured v-neck sweater that I loved the feel of. He didn't know that I remembered his birthday, nor did he know I had bought him anything. I jumped up from bed, and dressed in my stretchy yoga pants that I never wore, and the blue blouse Edward loved. I was making extra effort to look better today than I had these past months. I pinned back a section of my hair with a simple jeweled flower clip inherited from Alice and wore the necklace that went with it. Then, I picked up the wrapped present from under my bed, and bounced down the stairs happily. His eyes fell on me, and he smiled.  
"You look gorgeous. That's my favourite shirt. What's the occasion?" He asked.  
"Happy Birthday." I said, smiling.  
"You remembered?" He asked, looking incredulous and running a hand through his hair.  
"Of course."  
"But I told you that so long ago...I hoped you wouldn't remember." He said, frowning. I giggled and sat myself down on a kitchen chair beside Jacob.  
"I'm not that forgetful, you know." I told him, Jacob laughed. I gave him a knowing look, and on the silent count of three, we began to sing happy birthday at the top of our lungs. Edward looked all innocent and embarrassed, like I had never seen him before. I grinned as he sat down on the chair next to me, and got up to sit on his lap, finishing the last verse of the song.  
"I bought you a present." I said cheerfully. He groaned.  
"You didn't." He said, his hand resting on my thigh, running over the soft fabric of the pants.  
"I did." I said, passing him the wrapped present.  
"You spent money. Now you have to let me buy you that Audi." He shook his head.  
"I didn't spend that much, and for the last time, there's nothing wrong with my truck. Now stop being like me and open it." I said stubbornly, pushing it towards him. He sighed and tore the paper carefully. Jacob exploded in laughter as Edward held up the flamingo boxers. Edward smiled and shook his head again, chuckling.  
"I love them." He said through laughter. I smiled as well.  
"I love them too. They're so you." I said, sounding truthful. He grinned crookedly and set them aside on the table. Then he picked up the cream sweater, and smiled.  
"Thank you Bella." He said sincerely. I blushed.  
"You're welcome." I said softly. He took off the sweater he was already wearing, exposing his sculpted chest for a second as the shirt underneath lifted, and slid the new one over his head.  
"Perfect fit." He flashed me my favourite crooked smile.  
"Stand up and let me hug you. That's basically why I bought it, because the fabric is so nice." I said, blushing. He stood up and I wrapped my arms around the soft feel of the sweater combined with a strong chest underneath. I sighed happily and breathed in his scent. Jacob muttered something about a shower and left us alone. Edward tilted my chin upwards and kissed me deeply, I wrapped my arms around his neck and he sighed happily into my mouth.  
"So far my best birthday yet." He murmured. "Thank you, Mrs. Cullen." He kissed my forehead.  
"I love you." I said into his chest, my stomach jolting a little at the sound of the name. My arms now wrapped once again around him, rubbing my cheek against the sweater.  
"I love you too." He whispered.  
"We have to tell Jake...about the wedding." I said after a while. He sighed.  
"I know." He said. Another silence stretched between us as we stood with our arms wrapped tightly around each other. "You are the most beautiful thing I have ever laid eyes on." Edward said, running the back of his hand over my cheek. Blush coloured it again, and I stood on my tip toes to kiss his cheek. He smiled gently, and pulled me into the living room. I called Jacob down with my stomach swirling, and waited with my breath held as a confused look came upon his sweet face.

JACOB POV

She came down the stairs halfway looking more beautiful than anything, and I smiled. Why the change of outfits? Edward smiled as well, catching sight of her.  
"You look gorgeous. That's my favourite shirt. What's the occasion?" He asked, his face lighting up. The shirt really was beautiful, the colour wonderful with her skin.  
"Happy Birthday." She said, looking at him and smiling. Birthday? He hadn't acted any differently. Do vampires even have birthdays? I guess they still kept their human ones.  
"You remembered?" He asked, looking quite surprised. He ran a hand through his hair.  
"Of course." She answered, coming down the rest of the stairs.  
"But I told you that so long ago...I hoped you wouldn't remember." He said, frowning at her. She giggled and sat herself down on a kitchen chair beside me, her cheeks pink and hair shining. She looked better than usual today, emotionally.  
"I'm not that forgetful, you know." She told him, And I laughed at the expression on her face. She looked at me sneakily, and on the silent count of three, we began to sing happy birthday as loudly as we could. Edward looked embarrassed. He sat down on the chair next to Bella, and she moved to sit on his lap. A pang of jealousy shot through me.  
"I bought you a present." She said cheerfully. He groaned, looking worried.  
"You didn't." He said, his hand resting on her thigh. I wished it was my hand so badly it hurt.  
"I did." She said simply, passing him the present.  
"You spent money. Now you have to let me buy you that Audi." He shook his head. She rolled her eyes.  
"I didn't spend that much, and for the last time, there's nothing wrong with my truck. Now stop being like me and open it." She said, pushing it towards him. He sighed and tore the paper carefully. I exploded in laughter as Edward held up a pair of flamboyant flamingo boxers. I pictured him wearing them and immediately wished I hadn't, laughing even harder. Edward smiled and shook his head again, chuckling.  
"I love them." He said through laughter. Bella smiled widely.  
"I love them too. They're so you." She said. He grinned crookedly and set them aside on the table. I was hit with another pang of jealousy as I realized Bella would probably see Edward in them. I tried hard not to shake. Then he picked up a cream sweater, and smiled.  
"Thank you Bella." He said sincerely. Bella's face was coloured with a blush as she looked at him.  
"You're welcome." She said angelically. He took off the sweater he was already wearing, and slid the new one over his head.  
"Perfect fit." He smiled at her.  
"Stand up and let me hug you. That's basically why I bought it, because the fabric is so nice." She said, and he stood up. She wrapped her arms around him, and I looked away, deciding I couldn't take any more. I muttered something about taking a shower, and took the stairs to the second level, making my way towards Charlie's room. I sat on the bed and looked at the pictures on his nightstand. The clothes on the ground. The sheets on the bed. I closed my eyes and breathed in the dusty smell of it all, and decided to tell Bella that we had to box this stuff up. Just then, I heard her calling me from downstairs, and headed back down. She was sitting in the living room, with Edward by her side. I sat down, confused. Bella looked like she was holding something back.  
"We'regettingmarried." She said quickly, her face red.  
"What?" I asked, not hearing. She took a deep breath.  
"We're getting married." She said slower this time, and it took me a minute to process what she had said. Then, a powerful rush of adrenaline coursed through me, and my hands balled up in fists. Married. Why would they get married so young? Married. The word ran through my head.  
"Are you...?"  
"Pregnant Jacob? No I am not." She said crossing her arms. "I told you everyone would think that." She said, looking back at Edward.  
"Then why?" I asked, my voice weaker. I was starting to shake.  
"Because I love him Jake. And he asked me, and I said yes. Because I want to. Because I want him to be more than my boyfriend." She said, pleading with me to understand. I shook my head.  
"I can't believe this. I just can't." I shook my head once more.  
"I'm sorry. You have to understand." She said urgently. I looked at her, and then at Edward, and then stormed out of the house, transforming as soon as I reached the forest. What had I thought? That I actually had a chance with her? That she would get bored and come to me instead? Had I not been living with them for two months now and seen how much she needed him? And yet I still wanted her for my own. Wanted my arms to be the ones around her. Wanted me to be the one who could comfort her like he could. Wanted me to be the one saying my vows to her. I was selfish and love sick. I needed Bella. But she needed Edward. Edward wanted her to be happy, and she was happy with him. It all worked out in their favour. But what about me? Didn't I get someone also? Not for the first time, I wished Charlie were here again. I knew he wouldn't have stood for it.  
I ran for hours, burning off my inexplicable anger, and didn't stop until I reached Canada.

EDWARD POV  
After Jacob left, Bella's attitude took a downward dive. We took a long walk, and watched a couple movies, wasting away most of the day cuddling on the couch, and she took a nap for about a half an hour. I let the movie we had been watching end, and lay with her sleeping in my arms in silence. She woke slowly, and smiled gently.  
"Do you think he'll come around?" She asked me. I thought about it.  
"Yes. Eventually. I don't think he'll stay mad for long." I told her, and she smiled, reaching up to kiss me. I returned it with enthusiasm, and reluctantly let her get up to make herself dinner. She pulled a piece of lasagna out of the fridge and watched it turn around in the microwave before seating herself down at the table and pushing it around lazily. It was getting steadily darker outside.  
"Edward, what did you do for your birthday when you were human?" She asked, curious. I smiled, and tried to remember the blurry memories. It was surprisingly easy.  
"My mother used to always bake a blueberry crumble cake." I said, remembering how it had always tasted so good, and so perfect. "And my best friend Austin would come over and eat dinner with us."  
"Really?" She asked. I nodded. "You had a best friend?"  
"Of course. I had known him forever, since our parents were good friends. We kind of grew up being forced together." I chuckled. She smiled.  
"I wish I could make you a blueberry cake. But it would be useless." She smiled, touching my face. I kissed her forehead. "I'm tired." She said.  
"I know." I smiled, and she yawned, letting me carry her in my arms up to her bedroom. She changed into a big shirt and pyjama shorts. She climbed in bed and I jumped in beside her. We lay in silence for a little.  
"Edward?" Her voice broke it.  
"Yes?"  
"I think you should change clothes." She said, an amused look on her face.  
"Why? Into what?" I asked, curious.  
"The flamingo boxers." She giggled.  
"Bella...we said not until we're married." I said.  
"Who said anything about that? Boxers are just like shorts." She smiled. I did too.  
"Fine." I dashed out of the room and changed quickly into them, shaking my head at the pattern and rushing back into the room.

BELLA POV  
He came back in wearing the boxers, and I felt a strange urge to gasp and laugh at the same time. The pattern looked insanely hilarious, not matching his personality. But his perfectly sculpted abs and chest were on display nicely, nothing on him but the boxers, which went down to his mid thigh. He lay down in the bed again with me, and I sighed happily, rolling over to wrap an arm around him.  
"I love these." I said truthfully.  
"They were a good idea." He agreed. I smiled to myself and swung myself up unexpectedly and straddled him. He gave me a look, and then saw in my eyes I wasn't going to try anything, and trusted me. I brought my lips down to meet his and he responded eagerly, his hands tight on my waist. I pushed the kiss deeper, and he groaned. I pulled his hair gently and he smiled against my lips, his hand holding the back of my neck securely now. Soon, we were both breathing heavily, and our foreheads touched. Edward chuckled.  
"Happy Birthday." I whispered once more. He gave me one more soft kiss, and then a peck on my forehead.  
"Thank you, beautiful Bella." He said, and I closed my eyes contentedly as he began to hum my lullaby. I fell asleep like that, spread out on top of his cool body, dreaming of nothing for the first time in a while.

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